Page 85 of Fallen Rook

To be left alone.

It was for the best.

I spent the first three days in Staten Island doing work on the house, meeting with my old therapist after my episode with Enzo, and playing ball with Silas.

The manual labor helped. It quieted the voices raging in my head.

I installed Grams’s dishwasher, mowed her lawn, cleared up the weeds in the backyard, and repaired the deck. I drove into town to buy some supplies for her house and Iris’s. Then, when my help was no longer needed, I took it upon myself to change the fire alarms in each room at Grams’s, as well as changing all her lights to LEDs.

On Thursday, I found myself dangerously close to messaging him, so I put my walking boots on and trudged my way into the woods. I made it to the Jersey border before I gained some sense of control. When I returned to my grandmother’s house, she was in the living room, crocheting with five cats napping on various spots of her body.

She didn’t look up to witness the sweaty mess that was her grandson, merely tsked to herself. “A man can run from the truth twice across the globe, but he can never outpace it.”

“That’s profound,” I bit out. “Where’d you get that, a fortune cookie?”

“You won’t finish the full week here without running back and begging for his forgiveness, whatever it was you’ve done to upset him.”

“Grams, it’s time to put you in a home. You’re not cognitively with it anymore.”

She chuckled, shaking her head. “Go to the supermarket, dear. Buy us some steaks. It’ll keep you busy. You need that.”

I didn’t argue. It was something to do.

I went.

On Friday, I had dinner with my grandmother, Iris, and Silas. We went to that Mexican place again, because Silas was obsessed with their alambre a la diabla. I pushed my carnitas salad across the plate. It was delicious last time I’d had it. Now, I couldn’t taste a thing.

“Hey, Tom, wanna hear something?” Silas grinned across the table.

“What?” I took a pull of my root beer.

“Mom’s going on a hot date tomorrow.”

“Silas Gregory!” Iris tossed a napkin over her plate, turning beet red. “That is nonsense. I… Well, for one thing, it is not going to be hot at all. We’re going ice skating.”

“Who’s the lucky guy?” Grams exclaimed happily.

I sat back, smiling for the first time in almost two weeks. A lot of my guilt melted away at the information. Iris was young, pretty, and now an accomplished teacher, just like Grams had been. She deserved someone who made her happy. Someone who belonged only to her.

“Yeah, who is it?” I probed.

Iris tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and smiled down at her lap. “His name is Joshua, and he is not a new fixture in my life. In fact, I’ve known him since we were fifteen.”

“Joshua, the church administrator?” Grams cried out.

“Yes!” Silas pumped the air. “Finally, he mustered the courage to ask her out. It was becoming pathetic. You know he made us food every Wednesday and came over so we could all have it together for an entire year to ‘test his culinary abilities’?” Silas air-quoted the words with a snort. “And Mom was totally clueless!”

“Well, he said he needed to practice,” Iris said in a dignified tone. “And to be completely honest, he had room for improvement. I was happy to help.”

“The food was that bad?” Grams’s eyes twinkled.

Silas made a gagging motion, and Iris flung a napkin at the back of his neck with a huff. “Lead with kindness, Silas!”

“Straight to McDonald’s,” Silas mumbled into his bite.

Grams nearly fell off her chair laughing. “This is great. Joshua is a dashing young man, you know.”

“Thank you.” Iris was both pleased and exasperated, judging by her color and awkward smile. “What about you, Tom?”