Page 41 of One Night with Number Nineteen

“Yeah, bud,” I say. “I’d love to.”

And I’m absolutely calling it an addition now.

Twelve

Lainey

“Why?” Ollie asks.

For the umpteenth time in the last hour alone.

Why’s the ocean so big?

Why are WHALES so big?

When I grow up will I be tall like you, Saw-yur?

Why do dogs stick their tongues out all funny? Paired with him panting “funnily” like a pooch.

“Because your taste buds change over time,” Sawyer answers, patient as ever. “Right now, you might not like broccoli.” He chomps on one of the tree-like veggies, adds, “But later you might like it. That’s why your mom will always encourage you to try food more than once.”

Ollie pauses as he considers that. “I like cinnamon rolls right now.”

Sawyer’s eyes dance as they drift to mine for a moment. “Me too,” he says. “Especially the ones your mom worked so hard to make.”

Something flutters through my middle at the compliment.

Or maybe it’s that he clearly did like them—eating three himself.

Perhaps it’s the patience he’s shown with Ollie—answering questions, cracking jokes, not caring that his clothes ended up sprinkled with sugar and cinnamon, streaked with butter.

“But I like broccoli too.” Another bite of the green stuff.

Not trying to convince Ollie or cajole him or force him into trying the veggie.

Just…giving him an example to follow.

So maybe it’s all of that…and maybe it’s that he cooked dinner while my son peppered him with questions and didn’t leave the kitchen a war zone like Ben⁠—

I cut that thought off in its tracks.

Not slamming it shut like I would have done a few days ago, the vibration of the steel doors closing reverberating through my mind and body, vibrating my teeth and setting my jaw aching. I just…push it shut.

And I sit for a beat in the quiet of the knowledge that Sawyer isn’t Ben.

“Do you like broccoli, Mom?”

I focus on my kiddo and smile. “It’s not my favorite,” I tell him because I promised I wouldn’t lie to my son. Soften the truth, file down the rough edges of reality, sure.

But outright lie?

No.

“But it’s good for me and I like that it makes my body strong.”

“Does it make your body strong?” he asks Sawyer.

“Yup.” He eats another piece of broccoli. “But lots of foods can.”