Page 135 of Scarred Crown

“To love someone that deeply is truly a gift,” Kafil adds as we get to the door of the takeout breakfast diner.

Since his powers of observation seem to be so keen, I don’t hold back my question. “And Julia? How does she look at me?”

“Ah.” Kafil grins and steps through the door my security guard opens. “Exactly the same way—as though the two of you are locked in your own little solar system.”

Orbiting around each other.

For the first time since I sat in my father’s office yesterday, a small ball of comfort forms inside of me. Is repelling Jules really the best way forward?

Julia

I’m killing time in Posey’s downtown apartment making calls for the coronation because my brain isn’t capable of focusing on anything other than Nick. The calls are ones that could be made any day at any time because they’re details that aren’t pressing or important. Mindless work for a mind that won’t cooperate.

“You seem really sad. Probably like how I felt when Brent and I broke up,” Posey says from the couch where she’s drinking a cup of tea.

She told her work at the most prestigious interior design company in Bellerive that she wouldn’t be in today, and she cleared her schedule to be with me. The obstacle she faced with Brent wasn’t insurmountable. A terrible ex-girlfriend isn’t heaps of lies and miscommunication. They’re not on the same scale.

“Considering I had to tell my wedding planner I was hitting pause on a royal wedding that’s set to take place in less than three months because my current husband isn’t sure he wants to be married to me, I suppose I have a right to be a little sad.”

“That wasn’t a criticism,” Posey says. “I just haven’t seen you care about anything enough to be sad about it for years. You rebound from disappointment and heartbreak like a champ. I expected you to have a plan and be firing on all cylinders.”

“His name is tattooed on my body.” But it’s the tattoo on my heart I’m more concerned about. It’s not going to be as easy to erase.

“He’ll come around,” Posey says. “Do you want me to call up a photo collage of all the pictures that have been snapped of the two of you the last few months? He looks at you like you’re the center of his universe. He’s not going to throw that way.”

“I was the center of his universe fourteen years ago. That’s how long it took him to get over my last betrayal. Fourteen years.”

“That’s because neither of you understood what went wrong, and you were young and stupid. But you’re both aware of the issues this time, and I have faith you can talk them out like reasonable people. Or you can, at least. You’re reasonable.” She releases a deep sigh. “Please tell me you’re not giving up after one fight.”

“I’m not giving up, but I can’t be the only one fighting for us. I did that last time when we were kids. At every turn, I was there trying to get us back to where we’d been, and I pushed him further away.”

“You love him. He loves you. The only way this doesn’t work is if both of you give up.”

I pick at the blankets on the bed and don’t respond. There’s nothing I can do that’ll make Nick see reason.

“You’re married. Have you never listened to Mom and Dad go at it when one of them is pissed about something?”

“Dad always backs down,” I say.

“Sure. Someone needs to calm the rough waters. Mom does it all day for her job, and I think she’d had enough by the time she came home.” She sets her teacup down. “You’re missing the point. You’re going to fight. Brent and I disagree sometimes, but we figure it out. You’re not always going to see eye-to-eye, especially as members of the royal family, a royal family entrenched in the political system of this country.”

“I lied to him.”

“Because you’re currently trapped between two roles—wife and employee—but that’s not going to last forever. You’re not going to become Alex’s secretary. That’s a recipe for disaster.”

“Yes, well, we already agreed I can’t work for Alex.” I take a deep breath. “We were making plans to expand Nick’s foundation in Tanzania.”

“Good. I hope you go to Tanzania for a while. Leave all this bullshit behind and get to know each other better again. You and Alex actually need a break, or he needs a girlfriend. He’s too laser-focused on something he’ll never have with you.”

“Do you think I’ve led him on?” It’s the question I’ve been afraid to ask anyone else but besides Posey or Brice, I’m not sure who I’d ask. There are very few people close enough to Alex to get a sense of what’s going on behind the mask.

“No.” Her refusal is emphatic. “For whatever reason, he’s been fixated on you for years. I tried to ask him once when I was drunk. He just glared at me.”

“Sounds about right.”

Posey laughs. “Forget about Alex. We need to set up Operation Get Nick Back so we can shove this royal wedding on the track. I really want to be a bridesmaid.”

“Yes, I should get married so you can be a bridesmaid,” I say dryly. If I dwell on the idea of the wedding not happening, I find it hard to breathe. The alternative is an annulment, and I don’t want that. Nick said he was in this with me. A knot forms in my stomach at how quickly we fell apart.