Page 54 of A Christmas Wish for the Village Midwife

Zoe, as they’d just discussed, could read something else there, despite Billie’s attempts to mask it. What that was, however, she couldn’t work out for the moment.

‘I think so,’ Zoe said. ‘Unless Fern has to cancel, of course. I’m looking forward to it. I haven’t had any one-on-one time with her since she had Benji. Not that it will be one on one strictly because Benji will be coming with us. And even before then, whenever I met up with her, we were always just talking about her pregnancy, or I was helping her get set up in a house away from the commune. It’ll be nice getting to know her, finally, just as a person.’

‘She doesn’t seem like the sort of person who would be a midwife.’

‘What does that person look like?’

Billie gave a vague shrug. ‘You, I suppose. Normal. Fern’s got that grunge, New Age vibe going on. She looks like a soap dodger.’

‘She doesn’t!’ Zoe squeaked, trying not to laugh at the unfortunate turn of phrase. ‘She’s a bit alternative, that’s all.’

‘People might freak out if they’re waiting to see their midwife and she comes in, that’s all I’m saying. It doesn’t look…’

‘Professional?’ Zoe prompted, annoyed that she’d reacted, though unable to deny that in the back of her mind, she had thought it more than once. She’d wondered whether to mention that Fern might want to tone down the New Age vibe, as Billie called it, but figured that, in the end, it didn’t make a difference to whether she’d be able to do the job or not. It was up to Fern to decide how she wanted to present herself.

‘Yeah, that’s it. But they definitely wouldn’t do that with you. You look sensible.’

Zoe laughed. ‘I think that’s a compliment.’ Louisa let out a squeal as if in agreement, and Zoe laughed harder.

‘All right.’ Billie turned to her. ‘Your dinner is coming.’

She started to mash up the contents of a small bowl.

‘She really could try some bigger pieces now,’ Zoe said. ‘She’s old enough.’

‘I know,’ Billie replied, continuing to break the food up anyway. ‘She does sometimes, but I’m too tired to watch her tonight. Sometimes she chokes a bit. She eats it too fast.’

Zoe had never noticed that, but she didn’t comment either way. At the end of the day, Billie had to do what she felt was right. Zoe could offer gentle guidance, but she knew better than to lecture Alex’s headstrong daughter on anything.

Louisa had just taken the first mouthful when Billie’s phone pinged the arrival of a text. She let the spoon fall into the bowl, and Louisa grabbed for it, unnoticed, as Billie read the message.

‘They can’t do it,’ she said, and the disappointment in her voice was so palpable it almost appeared at the table to sit with them. ‘They’ve got nobody to look after the animals after all – I think the one friend chickened out because the horse is so old. They said we could go to them if we wanted, but not at Christmas because they have lots of family staying. Before or after.’ Billie looked up, but Alex shook his head.

‘We can’t really go there either – not all of us, at least. Zoe has to work, and we’ve got Grizzle.’ Alex paused, watching carefully for her response – at least that’s how Zoe translated the worry in his expression as he asked his next question. ‘If it really means so much to you, you could go with Louisa. I’m sure it’s you they want to see anyway, not us.’

‘I just went, didn’t I?’ Billie’s shoulders slumped as she put her phone down and pried the spoon from Louisa’s grip. ‘Not even that long ago. And you’d miss Louisa’s first Christmas.’

‘Maybe we can work something out—’ he began, but Billie cut him off.

‘It doesn’t matter. I wasn’t that bothered anyway.’

Billie’s body language was saying something very different, and Zoe could see in Alex’s pained study of it that he thought so too. Perhaps later, if Billie decided to go to bed earlier than them they’d have a chance to discuss it, and what they might be able to do about it. Zoe wasn’t sure there was anything to be done, but she was sure Alex would appreciate the chance to talk it through and some suggestions for ways they might temper her disappointment. Perhaps the lead-up to Christmas in itself would be enough in the end. There would be gift buying – far too many for little Louisa to play with, but wasn’t that the point of a first Christmas? And there would be village events, and perhaps things outside the village they could take her and Louisa to. Zoe rallied at the thought. They could salvage this, and they could turn Billie’s mood into something more positive again. Yes, she decided, they could make Christmas brilliant. All it needed was a few sparks of inspiration.

11

The café was crowded, but they’d managed to find a space near the steam-wreathed windows large enough for Fern to park a sleeping Benji in his pram. Despite the venue being almost at capacity, service had been quick and a waiter had taken their order soon after they’d sat down. Only a few feet away from their table stood a spruce tree so large it touched the ceiling, heavy with baubles and tinsel and with a scent so fresh that Zoe, who had never been to a Norwegian forest, felt she now knew exactly how one would smell. Over the bustle of the café, she could just pick out the strains of background music that sounded like covers of well-known Christmas hits.

Their food arrived surprisingly quickly too, given how busy the place was. As they both tucked in, Zoe didn’t think she’d ever seen Fern eat so much. She’d packed the last of her chicken wings away before Zoe had even eaten half of her starter.

‘Go for it.’ Zoe pushed the plate of tomato-topped bruschetta towards her. ‘I’m saving myself for the main. I don’t know why I order a starter; it always makes me too full, but then when I see them on the menu, they always look so good…’

‘I haven’t been in a fancy restaurant for years.’ Fern crammed one of the bruschetta into her mouth. ‘And I’m starving.’

‘It’s breastfeeding, I expect.’

‘Yeah,’ Fern paused and grinned. ‘I hope so because I’ll get massive if not.’

‘Stop it. You sound like Maisie.’