Page 65 of A Christmas Wish for the Village Midwife

‘I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help.’

Alex put a mug of tea on the table for Zoe and then one for Billie. Louisa was sleeping, still in her car seat on the floor of the kitchen. Grizzle was sniffing at her and chanced a lick of her foot, but Louisa didn’t move, and Billie didn’t notice.

‘There wasn’t a lot you could have done if you had been there,’ Zoe said. ‘In the end, I didn’t do much except drive her to the maternity unit. They took over once I’d dropped her off and explained the situation. It was all quite calm, and, as far as I’m aware, Kat’s in for observation, but she’s not in active labour yet. And I had Billie, who was brilliant.’

Billie sipped at her tea. ‘You don’t need to say that.’

‘It’s true.’

‘I didn’t do anything. I just sat in the car and talked to her kid.’

‘Which was very important,’ Zoe said. ‘Someone had to keep him occupied so Kat and I could focus on her well-being. The last thing she needed was to worry about Mikey. You were really good with him – I think he was a little bit in love by the time we got to the hospital.’

Billie shrugged, though she didn’t look convinced of her contribution, and it made Zoe sad. She’d had a wonderful afternoon because, despite the drama that had cut short their day out, she never felt more alive than when she was active and useful and helping someone. She wished Billie could feel some of that, because she’d been active and useful and had helped more than she could know. But it seemed that Billie couldn’t – or wouldn’t – cut herself a break. But when Alex spoke again, Zoe realised that it might run in the family.

‘I should have gone with you. I might have known something would happen.’

‘You can’t be with us everywhere we go,’ Zoe said.

‘I should have come anyway. This was about giving Louisa a great first Christmas, and I wasn’t there. I don’t know what I was thinking.’

‘Don’t be daft,’ Zoe said. ‘It’s not like Louisa is going to know you weren’t there.’

‘But I will. These things are important, aren’t they?’

He sent a look Billie’s way, and she sent one back that Zoe couldn’t quite read. But what she did recall as she watched them was Billie’s admission on the boat, before all the drama of Kat’s breaking waters, that she was finding her father’s concern for her overbearing. Was she thinking that right now as she sipped at her tea in silence?

‘We wouldn’t have all fitted in the car,’ Zoe said. ‘So it’s just as well you didn’t come to the boat trip because you would have insisted on coming to the hospital too. I’d have had to hire a minibus.’

Alex gave a rueful smile. ‘I can’t argue with that. Is it so bad that I want to make life as smooth as I can for my favourite women?’

‘No, but sometimes stepping aside makes it smoother,’ Zoe said, her gaze going to Billie again. ‘Sometimes doing nothing is as good as doing something.’

‘I know that.’

He turned to the fridge and looked inside. ‘I’ll cook. What do you want?’

‘I’m not hungry,’ Zoe said. ‘I’m tired more than anything. I’ll get some toast later.’

‘You’re all right?’ he asked with new concern in his voice.

‘I’m fine. It’s been a hectic day – one I wasn’t expecting – that’s all.’

‘Do you want some food, Bill?’

‘I’m not hungry either. I took Mikey for a burger in the hospital canteen while Zoe was talking to the staff, and I had one too. It was gross, made me feel a bit sick to be honest. He scranned it down, though, no problem. God knows how.’

‘That’s kids for you,’ Alex said. ‘If it’s greasy and in a bun, they’ll probably eat it.’

‘Boys are like that,’ Billie said. ‘I wasn’t when I was a kid.’

‘True, you did always like your fruit and veggies. Your mum said it was weird. She might have been right.’

‘Oi!’ Billie yelped, and Alex chuckled.

He looked at Louisa. ‘She’s flat out. It’s been a busy day for her too.’

‘God, she hated Santa,’ Billie said. ‘Screamed the minute he came near.’