Page 43 of A Solid Guide to Surviving a Situationship

“You don’t need closure. You need orgasms,” Andi said.

My jaw dropped.

Mel blinked. “Andi⁠—”

“I’m dead serious,” Andi cut in, sitting up straighter like she was about to present a thesis. “You’re stuck because your body is still attached to him. Mel said it—it’s chemical. So what do you do when something is chemical?”

I frowned. “Go to the doctor?”

“You replace it,” she said, pointing at me. “You override it with new experiences. New people. Better distractions.”

Mel crossed her arms. “That sounds like avoidance.”

“That is coping,” Andi shot back. “Healthy? Debatable. Effective? Absolutely.”

I let out a small laugh, shaking my head. “I don’t know. I tried that already.”

They both looked at me.

“When?” Mel asked.

“A few weeks ago,” I admitted. “With a random. We had sex. He was nice. It was… fine… I guess. Until he let me top him.”

“And?” Andi asked.

“And I still thought about Victor after,” I said. “Like—during.”

Andi didn’t even flinch. “Okay, so one guy didn’t fix you. That doesn’t mean the method is wrong. That just means your sample size is too small.”

I stared at her. “Did you just turn my love life into statistics?”

“Yes,” she said simply. “That is math, James. You don’t undo one person with one person. You undo one person with multiple options.”

Mel shook her head, though there was a hint of a smile she was trying to suppress. “That’s a terrible equation.”

“It’s a realistic one,” Andi replied. “You’re not trying to fall in love. You’re trying to detach.”

I leaned back in my chair, arms crossing loosely. “So your solution is… what? I just start sleeping around until I forget him?”

“I’m saying you remind yourself that he’s not the only one who can make you feel something,” Andi said. “Because right now, in your head, he is. And that’s the problem.”

Mel shifted in her seat, quieter now. “Just… don’t complicate it further.”

We both looked at her.

She hesitated, then added, “If you’re going to do that, at least don’t involve people who you already have history with.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Meaning?”

“Meaning your exes,” Mel said. “That would be messy. That’s not detaching—that’s reopening wounds.”

Something in her tone made me pause. It wasn’t just caution. It felt heavier.

But she was right.

“Yeah,” I said slowly. “Not with exes.”

Andi nodded. “No exes. New roster only.”