Page 109 of Death is Familiar

Perhaps I had been lucky. My situation was a result of an interaction I chose. Perhaps sleeping with Jack not only broke my self-described curse, but prevented an unspeakable form of violence which would have otherwise unfolded.

Medical room. Table. Health questions. I knew where things were headed.

“No.” I closed my eyes, pretending I was lying on the floor of my apartment. “But a test might show otherwise.”

There was nothing for a time. I kept my eyes shut tight because I didn’t want to know, didn’t want to open myself up to the world. Warden White and the child, didn’t believe me, I could feel it. They’d laugh or chastise me any second now. It was just my word, my lies, and whatever Mads had shared back to the Seal—if he’d shared anything back at all.

But when I peeled my eyes open, I found Warden White staring at me with what could only be described as awe and reverence. “What do you mean, precisely? Be specific.”

There was no disbelief in his tone, only interest. Beyond the cartoon playing in the background, the room was still. Warden White didn’t draw breath. Waiting for my response, there was a shimmer in his eye—anticipation, like he wanted to believe.

Which gave me hope, and just enough confidence to do what I needed to survive. To lie through my teeth, no matter how outlandish, unrealistic, or unbelievable. To get through this I needed to be what the Seal wanted me to be, and what they wanted was a virgin mother.

“I shouldn’t be. I know it… it’s not possible.” I swallowed jagged little bits of glass. “But, I’m… pregnant.”

†

I said it. Out loud. For the first time.

And that made it feel real. More real than when I saw the little blue plus on the test on my bathroom counter.

I thought things would go differently. That the first time I’d have to admit my pregnancy aloud would have been to Jack. Not strapped to a table, in a room with strangers. Whatever reaction Jack had in store for me would have been infinitely better than this, even if he didn’t agree with choices I’d have to make.

All he wanted was a child of his own. He’d be sweet, and kind, and almost bubble over with excitement. It would mean his dreams were achievable. That he could have a family.

“Are you certain?”

“I took a test.” The truth was easy.

“And you⁠—"

“Never had sex.” Lying was harder.

“You’re certain?”

“I think I’d know.”

Eyes wide, Warden White’s hand hovered over my stomach, but didn’t touch me. He seemed panicked. “I… I’m going to need to run some tests.”

Just what I needed. Tests.

Revulsion licked my throat. If they weren’t above knocking me out when I became too much of a hassle, I had no doubt the tests were going to be unpleasant. Maybe I could delay the tests, get him distracted enough for me to mentally prepare for the unknown.

Disgust coated my mouth, my stomach hollow.

“I need to eat something,” I swallowed. “To keep the nausea away.”

“You poor thing, we’ll get you something to eat as soon as we’re done. Are you three or more weeks late?” He paused before adding, “Give or take?” When I nodded, he muttered something under his breath as he walked around the table I was strapped to, then said, “We should be able to get what we need with an abdominal ultrasound.”

My clenched fists tightened. There was no getting out. No one was going to come to my rescue. I was at the mercy of Warden White. The Seal.

He patted my leg in a way that should have been reassuring. “Hold on just a minute, and we’ll get you that snack.”

Flickering my gaze around the room, there were plenty of weaponizable objects—medical equipment, floor lamp, set of keys—just nothing I’d be able to reach. With each pass of the room, I became more and more certain I was being held underground.

Unbearable tightness coiled in my chest. The lack of natural light, the faint trace of moisture in the air… escaping what came next was impossible.

The ultrasound was happening whether I wanted it to or not.