Page 71 of The Orc Warrioress and the Elf Lord

“There is some element of it in everything,” she said. “Some element of conquering in every interaction, someone having power over someone else.”

“But it’s not all about that,” he said. “Because there is some affinity between us and the horses. They were pleased to see us come back.”

“Why?” she said.

“We feed them?” he said. “We take care of them? And there is something more, of course. You and that horse, there’s some kind of kinship.”

She nodded. “Just so. There is. But I wonder if I should not feel guilty about it, in some way. Or if I should not, well, stop. Perhaps I should let the horse go.”

He shook his head at her and began to lead his horse up the mountain path towards the dragon’s lair. They were going to stay there. They would have their own rooms to sleep in. The lair was comfortable in a number of ways, and there were makeshift beds of sorts, pallets of cushions covered in blankets and the like. They would be able to rest. He was exhausted, he had to say.

“You think I’m foolish?” she called after him, bringing her horse along as well.

“Oh, in many ways, warrioress,” he said, smiling. “But no, I am not dismissing your thought entirely. I am simply not sure what I think. I must muse over it, I think, have some other angles to look at it, come to some kind of conclusion after I have pondered it. With my pipe, perhaps. I think better when I am puffing that pipe.”

She said nothing.

They walked.

He glanced over his shoulder at her. “If your mother did not wish to be here, it would be different.”

“But perhaps she cannot think clearly,” said Gathren, sounding defeated. “Perhaps all she has known are variations on a theme of being conquered and used, and perhaps she thinks this is all there is.” A pause. “On the other hand, perhaps this is all there is. If my mother had an orc husband, he would have treated her much the same as my uncle did, but I suppose he would have taken some compensation from the fact that he was using her in his bed.”

He stopped his horse. “I have to say again, warrioress, that it does not seem as if you like men.”

She sighed. “It is not that at all. I dislike being a woman and interacting with men. I do not wish to be whatever it is that men see women as, and no matter what I do, men seem insistent on putting me in that place. They have some role they wish me to play, and they will not allow me to do anything else. Even when I try, they seem to interact with my efforts as if they are patronizing me. They want me to be here for their pleasure.”

“I don’t want that,” he said.

“You did,” she said. “Lately, you have not seemed to, and it has been entirely disconcerting.”

He let out a tiny groan. “I feel strongly as if there is no pleasing you. And also that I will not be pleased myself until I find some way to do exactly that.”

“You don’t wish to please me,” she said. “You wish to excuse yourself for wanting to use me.”

“I don’t think so,” he said, but he was pondering it, looking it over, wondering if her accusation carried any weight. “No, no, I really don’t think so. Ever since I have realized that I have fallen in love with you, it is much more that I wish to place myself in your service, warrioress. I wish you to use me. It seems, however, that you have entirely no use for me.”

“What if I don’t?” she said. “What if it is this way? What if men have uses for women and women really don’t need men at all?”

He was so stunned by what she said that he stopped moving entirely. He really needed his pipe.

She caught up to him, pulling her horse ahead.

Now, he was bringing up the rear. “If that’s the case, warrioress, it seems things between men and women may be entirely doomed.”

She was quiet.

He called after her. “You said you were in love with me. Have you taken that back?”

“I wanted you to want me,” she said. “I wanted you to want me in the same way I want you. But you seem to want me to need you, and it is simply destroying all of it. You want me to be dependent on you or something. I am not. I never will be.”

Well, he’d had that thought that he’d never had a woman take him on without compensation, hadn’t he? And so, he was trying to provide compensation, and it was going very badly.

When they got up to the top of the mountain, there was a small cavern where they could leave the horses. It had been decked out quite like a stable, in fact. Tafnir had apparently kept horses at some point and he had raided troughs and tackle and various other things. They were able to make the horses comfortable, and then they were able to take another round door to go into the lair.

Their rooms were next to each other in what might be termed a hallway. The lair used both the walls of the cavern and walls built of brick and stone to divide elements from each other.

Iahir’s room had a stone wall, but the other walls were all the curved walls of the cavern. But before they got to his room, she caught him by the arm, and he turned to face her.