Page 20 of The Intimacy of Control

Could anything else go wrong? Was I destined to have the shittiest day possible?

“Whoa. Looks like you’re having quite the day, huh?”

I turned to Mav, holding the torn bag in my hand. “You could say that.” I sighed.

“Here, let me help.”

He started to bend down, but I stopped him. “You don’t need to do that. Those are my dirty clothes you were about to touch.”

He raised an eyebrow at me. “I live with a lot of kids and multiple childish adults. I think I can handle it. But if you don’t want me to, that’s fine. Let me get you a new bag, at least.”

I leaned against the wall, staring at the clothes on the floor. Today was seriously out to test me. I didn’t like receiving help. I didn’t like needing it, either. I didn’t like admitting when I was having a shitty fucking day, but goddamn, Mav was always there. Fuck, I wished he didn’t always have to be here. He deserved a home where he could feel safe, but that would mean leaving his mom, nieces, and nephews in absolute chaos, and Mav was too good a guy to do that.

Thank God I had a place where he could just exist. Everyone deserved to have a place where they could just exist. Even if it was a makeshift room in a tiny-ass closet with a super small cot as a bed.

He came back out of the janitor’s closet and handed me a trash bag. “Here. I need to order more of these, too. Do you want to help me get a list together of shit we need?”

I shoved all my clothes in the intact trash bag and nodded. “Yeah. Anything to keep me occupied from thinking about this horrific day, honestly.”

“Why did you shower here and not at home?”

I glared at him. “That’s a part of the horrific day. Water is shut off because of a leak.”

“Oh. Yeah, that’ll do it. Have you had any coffee yet?”

“No. That would require making a cup, which would need water.”

He hissed through his teeth. “Yeah, no, that makes sense. Come on, let’s start with coffee, and then we can compile a list.”

This was why Mav had been working here for as long as he had. He was good at making sure I didn’t crumble while also making sure the bar didn’t crumble. Usually, I’d be the one to handle all the ordering. I liked knowing exactly what we were low on, and I liked being the one to place the order. He knew that. But he was offering to do it with me so I wouldn’t completely go off the deep end.

Christ, did I want to go off the deep end. Maybe drowning would be easier than being plagued by the memory of it day in and day out.

There had been very few major disasters since we’d opened, thankfully. I wasn’t sure how many more I could handle. Unfortunately, we continued to have very minor ones, and when the minor ones piled up, it started to feel like a huge one.

A few glasses had been broken, one of our drafts stopped working, the internet kept going in and out… Quite literally everything that could’ve gone wrong had gone wrong, and I was fucking tired of it.

Maybe this was karma. For what, I wasn’t sure, but I must’ve deserved it.

Mav had mostly kept me in check, reminding me of all the things that were going right, but I was so focused on how little control I had over everything around me that it was hard to really listen to him.

A bottle had somehow slipped off the counter and onto the floor, shattering everywhere behind the bar. I’d just gotten the glass swept up when the door opened again. Assuming Melissa could handle it, I bent down to pick up the dustpan, only to fumble enough that some of the glass tumbled right back out. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath, trying not to scream. I really wanted to scream.

We didn’t have long until we closed, though. Not much longer, and then I’d be able to go home and hope that my water was turned back on. Then, I’d slip into my bed and lie awake, sleepless, much like the rest of my nights.

I swept everything back into the dustpan and carefully lifted it, dunking all the glass shards into the trash can beneath the bar. When I rose from the ground, I had to hold back a groan and a roll of my eyes.

Forrest smirked, staring right at me. “Hi, beautiful. Odd seeing you here.”

“It’s almost like I own the place. How weird.”

He put his face in his hands, tilting his head. “Do you ever get a day off?”

I didn’t want a day off. Working on shit was the only thing that’d kept me going thus far, and I wasn’t about to give that up. If I didn’t have something to pour my all into, I was sure I’d slowly lose pieces of myself I desperately needed to function. “You should know how it is. Running a business isn’t for the weak.” I leaned against the bar counter. “What can I get for you tonight?”

“Are you on the menu?”

“My name is all over this building, including the menu. But I can’t say that I’m available for purchase.”