Page 118 of By the Flames of Her Fury

I couldn’t stop the snort that left me. “I never thought we’d be joking about that.”

She shrugged. “I meant what I said to Tessa earlier. I don’t want everyone to always tiptoe around me. I’m not going to fall apart.”

“Nobody thinks that.”

She narrowed her eyes, as if she didn’t believe me. “I am funny, you know. I have fun.” Her lips twisted. “On occasion.”

“I’m sure you do. You and your captain, off gallivanting across the Triad Realm.” My tone was dry, but I raised an eyebrow at her in challenge. Imagining her and Starke together, and the way she’d let him into her room and closed the door the other night, made envy writhe in my chest.

She laughed. “There’s that jealousy again.”

I reached the end of the row and pivoted around the corner, back to the one she was on. She leaned casually against the shelves. I prowled closer, noticing the way her spine straightened and her smile faltered as my arm brushed her side.

“Of course, I’m jealous.” I leaned in and gripped a book next to her shoulder, my eyes never leaving hers. I was bordering on something dangerous, being this close to her, but I could never resist the pull.

“He got to be with you for an entire year,” I said, voice low. She held her breath, and my arm bracketed her in as I pulled the book out. “He was with you every morning, every evening, while I went to bed dreaming of you. He had it all,” my gaze drifted to her lips, “and I only had memories.”

“You’re wrong,” she breathed out. “He’s just a friend.”

“A friend?” I hummed, then leaned back. “He doesn’t look at you like a friend.”

She grasped the book I held in front of my chest, fingers grazing mine. It rested in the middle of us like a shield, but I didn’t know which of us it was protecting more. “It doesn’t matter how he looks at me. There’s nothing going on between us.” Her grip tightened. “There’s never been anyone else, Everett.”

The question was on the tip of my tongue. Then why did you leave? But I didn’t want to start another argument. She said I used that as a weapon any time I was upset, and maybe she was right. Right now, I didn’t want my logic to guide me. I didn’t need answers.

I just needed her.

I slowly took the book away and set it on the shelf behind me, lowering the barrier. “Do you still love me, Vera?” I whispered, so quietly the silence of the library seemed to swallow the sound. Her forehead pinched when I took her hand. “Do you still want me?”

“Yes. I—” Her breath hitched. “I don’t know.” I stilled, waiting for her response, and her fingers shook in my grasp. “I don’t know. I’m a—a tangled mess, Everett.”

A tangled mess. She said the same thing last night in her dream.

“Then let me untangle it,” I murmured. I kissed her palm, then her wrist, feeling her pulse pound beneath my lips. She inhaled as I tenderly brushed my lips over the scar on her forearm, the number forever tying her to those horrid cells. I moved higher, trailing kisses up her arm, the crook of her elbow, her shoulder. The top of her shirt slipped, exposing her collarbone, and I ran my lips down to the birthmark resting just below.

“You don’t know how many times I’ve thought about this.” I kissed the mark. My nose skated back up to her neck, inhaling her scent. She leaned her neck to the side, and my hand fell to her waist to pull her closer as my other tangled in her hair. I pressed my lips into the column of her throat, then the spot below her ear. Her hands inched toward me, fingers clenched in the fabric of my shirt.

I paused at her jaw, a breath away from her lips. “Tell me to stop,” I rasped.

“Why?” The word skated over my cheeks.

“Because if I do this…” My fingers dug into her waist. “I don’t know if I can watch you walk away again.”

She pulled back to meet my gaze. “I can’t promise you anything,” she whispered. “But I’m so tired of missing you.”

I hesitated, hand at the back of her head, eyes wavering between hers. She was right—she couldn’t promise me what I wanted. I should stop now while I still could, before things went too far, before she pushed herself away again.

But then she said two little words.

“Please, Swift.”

Something inside me broke. I crushed my lips to hers, a groan wrenching from my chest. Fates, this was so much better than her dream. My heart hammered, skin warming with every passing second, her hot breath sliding over my lips and cheeks. I gripped the back of her neck tighter and deepened the kiss as her hands slipped up my chest.

This is a mistake, the logical part of my brain screamed. You’re in too deep.

I shoved the thought away. The truth was, I had always been in too deep. I had drowned in her from the moment I met her. Now, I could finally breathe again.

My body vibrated everywhere we touched. She let out a sigh, and the sound lit me on fire. I pushed her against the shelf, using the wood to brace myself as her lips parted for mine. I tugged her bottom lip between my teeth and slowly released, and she pulled me down closer to her.