Page 124 of Of Shadows and Blood

He can’t see my face but I know I am no artist at schooling my own emotions away.

“Quite.”

The fire grows as Lee feeds more kindling from the basket next to the hearth. The room slowly heats and he sits back on his haunches, staring at the flame. “Do you want my opinion?” Lee asks after a few moments of silence.

No.

Yes.

“I’m afraid of it,” I admit.

“You’re better off in that coma than in Krue.”

“You couldn’t possibly mean that,” I retort, confused at his meaning.

“This is a bad place, Lady Liv.” I can’t help but wonder if he means the manor or Krue. He turns back and looks at me. “Just be safe. Stay with your guards.”

“I don’t have any out here. Hence the more freedom Sawyer allots me,” I grind.

“No guards?” Lee tuts as he stands up, brushing his hands off on his pants, giving me one quick and worried glance. “Well, take care of yourself. I know you can.” My friend slips out the door just as quietly as he entered, and I am left perplexed.

Chapter 34

What lies beneath the dirt? Untapped eddies of history, of power, of taint. That is the way they left it to us.

The library of Orvynn is larger than Brynwood’s but incomparable to Demis. When my maid came to wake me, I was already on my way out to seize the day. Living vicariously through main characters is the perfect form of escapism.

Tall rolling ladders connect the perimeter of the large room. Floor to ceiling shelves are filled with hundreds and hundreds of tomes. Some scrolls are messily stacked in compartments or locked behind glass. I run my finger over them and find no dust.

“My personal collection.” Sawyer startles me from behind. I gasp and grab onto one of the ladders.

“Good morning. I hope you don’t mind me in here.” I look up at the mural on the ceiling. A depiction of Senna and Erees at war. The other gods, some who I recognize, stand on the sidelines. The image is dark, however the painter captured the dimension artfully.

He pulls a book from the nearest shelf and flips it open. Bringing it close to his face, he inhales deeply. “The smell of books –” he places it back in the spot – “is unmatched.”

“I couldn’t agree more.” I pull one myself and smell the weathered pages. “I apologize if I offended you in front of Killian last night.”

“Ah, Killian could do with some offending. Don’t worry about it. I understand your plight, wanting to leave and explore. Believe me,” he responds and I have to look away because how many times have we stood like this together?

How many times has he read me like a book, body and soul?

Grabbing a small novel, I head for the nearest sofa and sit down. He follows shortly after.

“Question…” He stands directly behind me and his scent overwhelms me. “Would you look at me for a moment?”

“I don’t think that is a good idea,” I reply cooly. My hands sweat on the binding and I know I am not actually reading any of these words. “Thank you for allowing me in here.”

I hear his fingers tap on the leather. “You don’t need my permission. You could get more use out of it than anyone else. Your love for books…”

This causes me to look up at him. “Don’t.”

“What? You don’t wish to even reminisce?” He looks genuinely hurt. “No, I don’t. It’s too painful and there is no reason to. It never existed.”

With my eyes on my book, I dismiss him and his silence. “I think I would rather read in solitude, if that is permissible.”

“Again, you don’t need my per—”

“Obviously I do. Since I am confined here, give me my space. It is the least you could do.” I cut him off. The leash on my cool, collected self is slipping and I need him gone.