Page 50 of Of Shadows and Blood

If I choose this, I choose him. That is essentially the offer. Cedric is no basic ruler. This is clear in the castle and the way Veda is run. His power would provide me protection. Protection I might need considering someone, somewhere, cursed me.

And these powers, do I want them back?

“What if I say no?” I question.

“You will be allowed to stay on the grounds or off-site with healers,” he blankly replies, as if rehearsed. “My advisors would arrange passage and a life outside of Lux for you.”

The weight of this decision bears down upon my shoulders. There is something here with Cedric. A rawness that feels hopeful. In learning more about myself, I will be discovering more about him and us. Our history.

Rejecting this practically feels like a betrayal. My body feels numb at the thought of separating myself from here permanently. Yesterday, the force of adrenaline kept me moving, but a seed of doubt fostered deep within.

I cannot deny that.

“Liv, do you accept this proposal? I will not force you. I will never force you. You have a choice. But being at the castle is safer, regardless.”

There is another reason he wants me there.

“What purpose does this truly serve you?” I ask again, folding my arms and refusing to break the eye contact.

He’s the first one to break, surveying the trees canopying above the cottage. Rocking back on his heels, he looks like he’s chewing on his words. So I sit and stare, waiting.

Finally, he looks back to me. “Being king is not easy. It forces you to make hard decisions.”

“Obviously,” I murmur.

His mouth tilts into a slight smirk before he continues. “I won’t lie to you because I never have. I need you to be in the royal household, for the kingdom’s sake. You and I are technically supposed to be wed already and securing the lineage with an heir.”

There is a large emphasis on need. But marriage? A child? He’s not the only one out of their mind.

“With the obvious setbacks recently, that will not be happening,” he continues, looking away again. The crickets fill the silence. “But,” he sucks in sharply. “We need to show a united front. More than ever. I know you saw the way we are regarded by the people, my court and other kingdoms. Our strength is unmatched and I need you to help me uphold it.”

I consider his words, anxiety filling my chest. This feels like it is for his benefit. Yet I know nothing of this life.

Cedric wants me to try to be his. To try to remember. To try to be a queen. But I’m not even me.

If I accept, it is more than accepting this life. It is like abandoning what was normal for me. But that kernel of yearning sits heavy within me. To know more. To be free of these restraints. That is what my ailment is, to be sure.

A restraint.

But accepting is one step closer to finding answers, even if it means being close to Cedric. If we can understand this supposed curse, I could understand what truly happened to me – and how I can find the life I was meant to live. What part of me is real, and where am I meant to go. Between Lux and the village, my only answers might lie in complying with the very creatures that hold me captive. The releasing clause makes this attractive, too.

Hesitantly, and surprisingly, I step further over the threshold and offer my hand. Cedric regards my gesture with a confused expression. I chuckle and reach for his opposite with my other, guiding it to grasp my palm.

“The cottage stays available for me,” I say. If this is to be an agreement, I will need something in return.

“As you wish,” he says, bowing halfway. I scoff and shake our hands. We release and I nod tersely, going to turn back into the cottage but Cedric stops the door with his foot.

“You like swimming.”

I like swimming? This male needs some lessons on language.

“Okay?” I turn back around.

I’ve certainly never been swimming. Well, Liv has never been swimming, I mentally correct.

“There is a lake a few miles outside of castle grounds that we used to frequent. I wanted to invite you,” Cedric says, shoving his hands into his pockets.

I consider his odd invitation. Apparently this is the night for it. It was not so long ago that he was beating the life, whatever life it may be, out of his brother. Now, the hardened king wants to take a dip.