Page 79 of Of Shadows and Blood

“Two years is a long time for anyone to be in a coma. Humans rarely wake up and it’s nearly unheard of for vampyr and cess. Vampyr would perish from lack of blood, and cess have an innate connection to our ether of magic,” Avonde says as she opens a scroll. She hands it to me and it takes me a moment to recognize what it is.

“This is a spell,” I say as I try to sort through the old script. It’s withered and nearly illegible. My brain identifies some of the phrases but otherwise, it’s gibberish.

“I dug through every tome in our library for this. It’s a spell for mindbinding. It is meant for nefarious purposes, using you without your knowledge,” she explains. I look up from the page and feel chills at the concept. This is the spell? The one holding me back from fully regaining my consciousness. In my hands I hold the key to my person.

“So, you know, then, how to undo what has been done,” I state.

“No, but it’s close to what we’re working with.” I relax slightly and look at the words as she continues. “And even with this one, we don’t know how to reverse it. This work is dangerous.” She gets up from the chair and kneels next to me, pointing at the phrases.

“You wouldn’t recognize it now, but it’s written in the old tongue.”

“I barely recognize it,” Garreth chuckles, obviously trying to lighten the mood. I like him.

“How can you find a needle in a haystack?” I ask almost silently. My heart pounds and my brain feels fuzzy. They want to succeed and I know they will.

“What if Liv ceases to exist and Elivienne comes back completely? We never considered the adverse effects. I am – Liv is – obviously a byproduct of the subconscious.”

Avonde crosses her legs and rests her chin on her elbow. “You’re afraid of losing a part of yourself. Memories of all of this.”

“Of course I am. I’ve only lost my memory, essentially, but this is a curse. You’ve said it before. Magic meets no compromise.”

Avonde looks at the spell again. “It might be worth looking into, testing parts of this on your mind until we have a cure.”

“No.” I shake my head. “I would prefer to keep our current plan.”

“You have a good point, Liv,” Garreth reassures. “Thank you for being open.”

“We will continue to search and collaborate across sects until we have a more clear answer,” Avonde affirms as she rolls the scroll back into place. She and Garreth rise and head for the door.

“How long?” I ask, trying to hide the fear in my voice.

“Days, a week, it’s hard to tell,” Garreth answers for her, opening the door. “Just keep this between us and Cedric.”

I nod, waving as I shut the door quickly. My back hits the wood and I slide down to the stone floor. My dress pools around me as the panic sets in. Cedric said I always had a choice. If they don’t have answers about the spell and its effects, I could say no. I’ve already made progress. What if the spell isn’t needed? What if I beat this on my own?

I stand up and rush to the armoire across from the bed. Shuffling through dresses, my hand lands on the satchel I brought with me from the cottage. I pull out the journal I stashed away and bring it to the vanity. Using the kohl stick Isadora used for my makeup this morning, I scrawl a message.

Putting the journal back in the satchel, I slowly close the door of the armoire and make my way down to the Healers’ Quarters. The other cess are nowhere to be found. Avonde oversees my healing on most days but other members have special skills. Today I was meant to work with Yully but the cess lights, the living flames, are the only thing alive in their quarters.

“Hello?” I enter and walk around the workstations, observing open books with languages I do not recognize. A few dried herbs crunch under my slipper. The bookcase I noticed the first time I was in here looks to be commandeered by more parchment and bound writings.

Parchment hangs out at various places and a vial of ink appears to have spilled at one time, staining the oak. I run my fingers along it all, standing on my tip toes. If I am a cess, would I not recognize any of this? There is a strong chance some of this is my work.

I lean into the shelves to reach for a small box up top but the shelf moves backwards. Nearly falling into the stacks, I right myself and push on the shelves again. They groan back a few more inches. Lifting my feet, I notice metal tracks appearing with each push.

Interesting.

A hidden door was not on my list today, but I push forward and the whole thing swings inward on a hinge. The hall in front of me is dim, but not completely dark. Vampyr have good eyesight but I grab the cess light on the wall next to me and step into the hall. It curves to the right on a steady decline. Daylight begins to shine through a trellis-like arched roof camouflaged in vines.

As I realize I am outside the castle, I take a deep breath of fresh air. The climate is only getting colder in Lux but the crispness of it feels refreshing. On my left the lattice structure meets the dirt and large hedges. I try to ascertain where this is leading based on my trips around the grounds. The large arch overhead connects on the right with the stone exterior of the castle.

Stringed instruments and small drums rise in volume as I continue down the path. The dirt here is disturbed and well-trodden. This is a frequent journey for our healing friends downstairs.

Me too, I suppose. Once upon a time.

I take a sharp left and nearly fall off a step. Before me is a large, covered dirt courtyard with about thirty Cess seated solemnly. Yully walks calmly between the bodies, pausing to adjust a younger acolyte’s posture.

Backing up a step, I hit my heel on the cement and lose my balance, characteristically dropping the cess light onto the ground with a loud bang from the metal.