Page 83 of Of Shadows and Blood

Over two months at Lux and Cedric has been increasingly distant since our last row. Though, I am sure he is tied up with Sawyer in their territory. Avonde mentioned Cedric was handling his brother and I assume they are doing it at Krue.

I’m okay with that.

Avonde has been walking me through my family’s history this morning, which is a slight departure from our regular sessions. She says this is important and I can’t help but agree with her. Garreth sent a message that he could not find anything on the spell at Krue so he will keep searching.

“Is it normal to have such a direct family tree like this?” I ask, tracing the trickle-down genealogy of my bloodline. Our noble house’s branches do not get much more important than our ancestral seat.

“Mostly. Cedric’s family is slightly skewed since they have been the ruling family for the longest period. As you can see, your line starts fairly recently. Nothing else can be dug up past your…” She counts the names on the paper. “Great-grandmother?”

“What were they like? My parents?” I run my fingers over their names, trying to conjure any image of them.

Avonde grabs a larger tome and plops it on the table. Dust plumes from the pages.

“Would you like to see for yourself?”

I don’t need to answer that question. She flings the thick book open and turns it around to face me. There, frozen in time, lay two rough portraits of my parents. My true mother. My father.

My family.

My heart squeezes with pain and grief for the time lost. I knew them once and I would like to know them again. What if it isn’t possible? What if I can’t find my way back?

“You will, Liv. You will. Breathe.”

Panic takes over as I pull my head back to avoid smudging their renderings with my tears.

Elmira Josephine (Green) de Cassas

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Xristopher Bay de Cassas

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Elivienne de Cassas

My mother is beautiful. Her hair is dark and set with large curls that frame her face. The drawing is not perfect, but it captures her high cheekbones and laugh lines. She smiles faintly for the artist. A small necklace in the shape of a leaf rests on her chest.

My father, Xristopher, is both pale in face and hair. His eyes shine and tilt up as if perpetually happy. He is in a formal costume for court, but his blond hair is unruly.

“My mom looks like a cess,” I mention.

Avonde, who was busying herself with a few documents glances over at the book. “Oh, it was your father that passed it down. And he passed it from his father. And from there, we’re not sure how the cess gene was introduced into your family.” My eyes find my father’s again and it’s all too much so I push away from the table to breathe.

“How did they…” I start, my eyes drawn to their portraits some more. The similarities are uncanny. I wonder if I laugh like them. If I am as tall as my mother or my father. Did we have family traditions?

“They passed the year before your accident. A blight tore through the continent. The malady is internal, it claimed many lives that year. Cedric lost his mother to it many years ago and when it came back…” She trails off, a saddened look across her features.

My head snaps up. “No, all four?” Avonde nods and busies herself with some tomes. “The kingdom suffered a great loss.”

Cedric lost his mother years before his father, ascended the throne when I fell into a stasis and has been surviving since. So many emotions roll through me. How can he sit on that throne? How can he walk these haunted halls? Cedric has always proven to be deft at hiding his pain, but this is debilitating. I cannot even remember my parents and here I am, shedding tears for the loss of their memory.

“How could they exist one day and not the next? I thought vampyr were immortal. I don’t even remember their deaths and yet it pains me so.”

“Immortality has many limits. The Gods provide checks on power in so many ways you will come to find out. The blight was connected to an illness in the human population. Thus, different feeder laws. But you can honor your family every day, Liv. Just by living and finding your way back to your truest self. Please rest assured they are peaceful in the Ever. All of them. The Gods have them now and one day you will all be together again.”

I snort, wiping tears away. “You mean a thousand years from now.”

“Time flies when you have a lot of it,” she says, squeezing my hand. “I know you feel like you have lost so much of it already but promise me you will continue to reclaim your life. That you will honor not only your past self but your present and future.”