Page 149 of A Million To Fall

She takes a step toward the door, her face guarded.

“But tomorrow,” she says softly, pausing in the doorway, her fingers resting lightly on the frame. “Tomorrow you’ll understand.”

Then she’s gone.

And I’m left in the silence, the air still filled with her scent and the echo of promises I don’t understand.

My heart is cracked wide open.

Bleeding.

Waiting.

forty-three

Boston

Not that I have much experience, but I expected criminal court to be… I don’t know, cooler, maybe?

This place is a circus. So many people in the stands, the jury box filled with men and women all wearing prison scrubs—the men in gray, the women in navy blue—a few law enforcement officers and even more people donning fancy suits.

Turns out when the court sets a trial for nine, the judge still has to work through a full morning calendar first, which, today, consists of arraignment after arraignment.

At first it’s mildly interesting, but after about forty minutes of this, the charges all start to blur together. Felony drug possession, battery, grand theft, whatever.

Every single defendant pleads not guilty and the matters are pushed through like they’re processing these things on a conveyor belt. Suits leave as their clients are led out of the courtroom. New suits arrive.

It’s all shockingly… boring.

Finally, the courtroom is cleared out save for a heavyset middle-aged woman with a short bob graying at the roots. She looks decidedly dispirited in her brown wool pencil skirt, the button on her blazer barely hanging on as the fabric stretches across her chest.

She stands at the large oak desk farthest from the jury box. I’ve seen enough courtroom shows growing up—my mom’s fave—to know that she must be the defense attorney and therefore my mom’s lawyer. Judging by her disgruntled demeanor, she’s a public defender rather than some high-priced criminal defense lawyer. Not that my mom could afford one on her own, but I thought maybe Eddie had some ties somewhere, some legal eagle standing by to bail him or one of his henchmen out if they were in trouble. But either my mom isn’t worth it to him or he really is as much of a dirty rat as he seems.

I remain seated in my spot near the back, inconspicuous, not drawing attention. Just in case Eddie or one of his roider assholes show up. It’s not that I’m worried for my safety. It’s my family I worry about.

“Alright, Pete, why don’t you fetch the defendant,” the judge says, her reading glasses teetering on the tip of her nose as she stares at her computer screen. “Ms. Susan Irene Rawlings. Case Number FN072982.”

“You got it, Judge,” an older officer in full gear says. He, too, looks like he’d have no chance in hell catching any inmate who decided to try their luck and run. Plus, I wouldn’t be surprised if that duty belt added an extra thirty pounds to his already rotund frame.

He marches across the well, then disappears behind a door.

“Ms. Hughes, are we ready to proceed with the trial this morning?” the judge asks my mom’s attorney.

She nods. “Just as soon as Mr. Beckett makes it in, Your Honor.”

The judge looks down her bench to the clerk sitting at a desk to her left. “Janine, why don’t you call up to the seventh floor and see if Mr. Beckett is expected to arrive soon or if he’s tied up in another courtroom.”

The clerk nods, picks up the phone, then dials a number. “Hi, Corrine. Janine here, Judge McMahon’s clerk in courtroom sixteen—”

My attention is diverted by the side door swinging open. In walks my mom. No shackles, no cuffs, not even her navy scrubs. She’s dressed in black pants and a blazer that’s too large for her narrow frame. If I had to guess, I’d say the clothes were loaned, maybe donated. Definitely not hers.

As if she can sense me, she looks up and over. Her face immediately contorts with sorrow, despite the small smile she forces onto her lips.

I smile back at her, give her a you got this nod. She takes a seat next to her lawyer, craning her neck to get another look at me.

“Counsel got tied up in eleven but is on his way,” the clerk says.

I settle a little deeper into the bench. I took the day off work, so I’m in no rush. As long as I’m out of here by four to make it to the dinner shift at AJ’s, all is well.