Page 72 of Shifter Omegaverse AU

“And you have no intention of bringing it up with Ruben?”

Rowan bit down on the inside of his cheek and shook his head.

Troy sighed. “You two are going to have to talk about it eventually.”

“No, we won’t. I’ll tell my family next week, probably Friday or Saturday, and then we’ll just move on. Like we always do.”

Troy’s dark brown eyes were far too knowing, so Rowan chose to look at the tie clip Raina had gotten him for his last birthday. It had little antlers on it, which Troy proudly pointed out to anyone who so much as glanced at it.

“I think maybe you should talk to your therapist about this. I mean, not just this but everything that’s happened between you and Ruben, and hell, you and your whole family over the years,” Troy said, not for the first time.

“After I cover all of the other things I need to tell her, sure.”

Like how he was practically crawling out of his skin with the need to figure out how he was going to manage intimacy. Today would be the fourth time in as many days that he saw Milo. They’d made out again on Sunday and exchanged brief kisses on the sidewalk after leaving the coffee shop on Tuesday. Today, they would probably sit next to each other, knees touching under the table, but what was going to happen when they went back to Rowan’s place that evening to watch another movie?

They weren’t going to mate, that was for sure, but would they jerk off together again? Would Milo ask him to touch them? To fuck them?

He wanted to. His hawk wanted to. It was just his damn brain or nervous system or skin or something that was holding him back…and was threatening to get in the way of them reaching the happily ever after it seemed Ruben and Ray were hurtling towards.

Of course, the added stress of all of that probably wasn’t helping, either.

“It feels like this might be a bigger issue for you right now,” Troy said.

Rowan shook his head. “I promise, it’s not. I know you’ve only known me and Ruben for four—”

“Coming up on five, I believe.”

Gods, had it really been that long? “Okay, for five years, but it’s always been like this. We were close when we were little, then we grew apart, but over the years, things have mostly settled down. We’ve always gotten on each other's nerves, but otherwise we’re—”

“Fine, yeah, I’ve heard that before,” Troy said, his arms uncrossing but in what looked like defeat, not acceptance. “Let’s just go inside.”

Rowan’s hawk lowered his head, and Rowan’s shoulders slumped. “Do you really think that’s what I should prioritize with my therapist first? Not Milo and everything I’m worried about with them?”

Troy didn’t answer right away. He studied Rowan with almost half a decade's worth of practice. “From everything you’ve told me about Milo, it doesn’t seem like you actually have anything to worry about with them. You’ll figure it out, and sure, some guidance and advice might be helpful, but I think what you should really focus on is how your relationship with touch and your relationship with your family make you…”

He seemed to search for the word as Rowan’s mind filled in the blank. Inadequate? Lacking? Unloveable?

“Distant,” Troy said, his gaze heavy on Rowan’s shoulders. “That was the first thing I noticed when I met you. It was like something was holding you at a distance from your family— and not just the distance you keep to avoid accidental touch. Maybe that’s part of what you’re feeling with Milo, or what you’re afraid you’re going to feel, but the point I’m trying to make is I’m afraid this misunderstanding with Ruben is only going to make it worse. The early stages of a fated mate relationship are exciting, but because Ruben jumped the gun, you don’t feel like you can share that with your family the way you wanted to—the way you should be able to.”

The back of Rowan’s head prickled, and to his absolute horror, so did the backs of his eyes.

“Maybe I should be paying you $150 an hour for a session,” Rowan mumbled.

“The first one’s on the house,” Troy said, his smile gentle as Rowan fought to collect himself.

“Okay,” Rowan said, clearing his throat and running both of his hands down his face. “Okay, yeah, I see what you’re saying. I’ll try to bring that up on Friday, and, uh, work on not being so distant.”

Troy stepped forward into Rowan’s space, and his hawk squawked in alarm, but all Troy did was angle his shoulder, so that a moment later, when a loud group of teenagers passed by, the two gangly boys bumped into Troy’s back instead of Rowan.

Rowan’s vision blurred as he stared at those two antlers again. “Thank you,” he whispered.

Troy nodded towards the door. “Let’s go have coffee with your mate.”

“Fated mate,” Rowan said as he followed closely behind Troy into the cafe. “We’re not mated yet.”

“My beloved! And his esteemed business partner!” a voice shouted from somewhere in the crowd of shifters milling about the cafe.

They usually tried to get to the cafe before the lunch crowd set in, but they were running late today despite all Rowan’s speed walking. His little moment there on the sidewalk probably hadn’t helped either.