Page 19 of Conflict Conclusion

“I’m sure you’re right. I haven’t been keeping close tabs on her, trying to let her spread her wings…even more so than I always have.” She tilted her head and stared somewhere off into the distance over Leon’s head. “You know, my mother was a single mom as well, but she kept a tight leash on me and my brother. So much of her life was out of control, I think she was dead set on controlling her kids. Or at least…trying to. She ran a tight ship, and, while it turned out okay for me in the end, I think it’s part of the reason my brother can’t seem to stay out of trouble in adulthood.”

Leon had no idea what to say to that. He’d heard Hailey mention a crotchety grandma from time to time, but she’d never mentioned an uncle, not even in passing.

“I didn’t intend to be around so little for Hailey,” she added, and it seemed like she wasn’t really talking to Leon anymore. “But then again, I didn’t intend on being a single mother either.”

As was the case these days, Leon really wished James was here. He would know exactly what to say.

He rubbed his hand absently over his pocket, tracing the shape of his phone, and did his best to channel his sweet boyfriend. “I think you’ve done a wonderful job with her.” That was a thing people said, right? “Way better than mine did.”

Well, he’d tried.

Hailey’s mom didn’t come outside. Instead, she leaned against the window frame, lightly crossing her arms over her chest in a pose so familiar Leon could have sworn he heard his ribs creaking.

Or maybe that was just the sound of the old metal grates settling in for a long talk.

“My dad died when I was pretty young…too young, really,” Leon found himself saying. “My mam didn’t have much interest in being a parent to begin with but definitely not after that.”

Somewhere down below them, a car alarm went off, and although it wasn’t the same pitch, cadence, or literally anything else even remotely similar, he suddenly heard the beeping of a hospital monitor in his head.

He lifted his shoulder and rubbed it against his ear, as if he could dislodge the sound that way, all the while Hailey’s mom studied him like he was one of her patients. “I’m sorry to hear that. And thank you for saying so, about Hailey. She really is growing into a wonderful young woman.”

Leon inclined his head, because what else was there to say. Hailey was a great kid, and would probably be an even greater adult. He hoped like absolute hell he would be around to see it, but aside from their late night syllabus hangouts and dinner the previous weekend, he’d been doing a pretty piss poor job of trying to stay in her life.

As if reading his thoughts, or maybe his face, Hailey’s mom smiled warmly at him. “I feel like credit is also due to her wonderful next door neighbor and babysitter. I have to admit, when you first moved in, I was a bit…apprehensive.”

Leon’s fingers twitched around the bottle, and he brought it to his lips to try and hide his smirk. “It was the eyebrow piercing, wasn’t it?”

Her eyes flicked down to the barbed wire tattoo around Leon’s neck, and his smirk widened.

“I think it was perhaps more that with my own absentee father, reclusive brother, and Hailey’s deadbeat dad, I didn’t want her to think that every man, or frankly, every person was going to let her down.”

Ah, yes, it seemed like that was, in fact, one of his ribs creaking, the weight of his own disappointment in himself pressing in on him from all sides.

Leon had truly done his best to be a good neighbor, a good babysitter, and a good man. Except he should have been the one behind the wheel that day. And he should have been strong enough to own up to that and still be there for Hailey these past several months. James couldn’t see it—he was far too sweet and forgiving—but now, with just the two of them out here at what might as well have been the edge of the world, he knew it, and he was sure Hailey’s mom knew it, and she was going to tell him off, just like he deserved, and he was going to finally be able to apologize, and beg for forgiveness, and maybe, maybe all of the noise and Trina’s scared voice, and the splatter of blood on Hailey’s jacket would finally go away and⁠—

“Thank you, Leon,” she said.

“W-what?” Leon choked out, pressing his fingers into his sternum, trying to hold his splintering chest together.

“Thank you for everything you’ve done for Hailey and continue to do for her. I can only imagine how hard that night must have been for you, but you’ve just kept right on going, being there for not only Hailey but Trina, as well. I know you and James have been helping⁠—”

“It’s mostly been James,” Leon interrupted.

She raised one slender eyebrow. “It wasn’t just James this week. And it wasn’t just James at dinner or at the mall or out here on the fire escape countless times these past few months.”

Leon ducked his head, thumbing at the edge of the label on his beer bottle. Somewhere above them, the pigeon cooed, and he wondered if he’d be able to excuse himself from the conversation if a bird shit on him.

When that didn’t happen, he tried to clear his suddenly dry throat. “It…never feels like I’m doing enough. It hasn’t since…”

Why didn’t you save me? You were my son; you were supposed to save me.

Leon shook his head, not in the mood for fortune cookie haunted house scaries or lingering childhood grief. He managed to wedge his thumbnail under the label and began to peel it off.

“You know. I’ve seen some horrible things working in the ER,” Hailey’s mom said, and Leon jerked his chin up.

She wasn’t looking at him, but her position was similar to his: hand pressed against her chest, fingers absently tracing over the buttons on her blouse.

“And despite that, seeing Hailey get even a papercut growing up sometimes made me feel like I couldn’t breathe,” she continued. “It still does some days, knowing that there’s a whole world out there for her to explore, that could disappoint or even hurt her…it really is hard. But then, when the unthinkable did happen, and she was there, in my own ER…you were there, too.”