Page 24 of Honest Boys Don’t Play

I recoil. “That’s…”

“Yep,” she says when I don’t finish.

Her feet sway back and forth, the paper beneath her rustling.

“Did you come alone for your first appointment?” I hate to think of her here by herself having to go through something unfamiliar.

She pulls her hair off her neck and secures it with an elastic from around her wrist. “Rosie came with me. I had to tell someone.” She gives me a sad look.

“I’m just glad you weren’t alone.” I truly mean it, too. I think Bertie expects me to be pissed that she took so long to tell me, but I’m not. Why am I going to be mad that she needed to wrap her head around something so monumental and wanted time to decide what to do with her body?

There’s a soft knock on the door, and then an ultrasound tech enters, wheeling the equipment in with her.

“Hi, Bertie. I’m Ashley. I’ll be performing your anatomy scan today. It’s going to take about forty-five minutes, so just lay back and relax.”

Bertie exhales and lays down, pulling up her shirt.

“Are y’all ready to see your baby?” the tech asks, setting everything up and plopping on a stool.

“I’m nervous,” Bertie admits, cupping the small swell of her stomach.

“Is there anything specifically that’s worrying you?” the tech asks without missing a beat. She squirts some kind of gel on the wand and says, “It’s warmed.”

“No, nothing specific,” Bertie answers. “I think pregnancy as a whole terrifies me.”

Ashley gives a soft laugh. “You’re not alone, trust me. A lot of change comes with being pregnant—both mental and physical. Being nervous is totally normal and okay.”

“Good,” Bertie breathes. “I feel like pregnancy is always portrayed in media as this glorious time in a woman’s life and I’m just an anxious mess.”

She starts the ultrasound and soon there’s a grainy image on the screen. At first, it looks like nothing and then…

“There’s your baby’s head.” She points. “An arm and hand. Five fingers. Oh, look baby’s waving at you.”

I’m immediately enchanted, like I’ve been put under some spell. I lean in closer, watching the little baby on the screen wiggle and move.

Real. It’s so fucking real.

“Wow.”

The tech smiles at my astonishment. “Pretty cool, isn’t it?”

“It’s amazing.”

I feel Bertie’s eyes on me, and I’m instantly drawn into her orbit. She extends her hand to me and I take it, kissing her fingers.

“That’s our baby,” she says reverently.

It’s the most surreal thing I’ve ever seen. It’s hard to wrap my head around that being inside of Bertie right now, moving and squirming around.

I watch in awe through the entire appointment, relieved when we find out everything is looking as it should. At one point the tech asks if we want to know the gender. Bertie holds my gaze, hoping for my input, but the ball is in her court. She shakes her head and the tech has us look away while she checks.

At the end of the appointment, we walk out with a stack of ultrasound photos.

It’s probably crazy, but having these in my hand makes it even more real.

In the truck, I ask Bertie, “Do you mind if I make a stop on our way back?”

“No, not at all,” she replies easily, clicking her seatbelt into place. “I’m okay with a side quest.”