Page 65 of Honest Boys Don’t Play

“Is this really necessary?”

“We haven’t even made it to the linens yet,” she says defensively. “So, yes, it’s necessary.”

We stop at the blankets next, and I find one in my favorite shade of pastel yellow and add it to the ever-growing pile.

“I wanted to get some new bed things,” I admit when we reach that section of the store. “What Kayla has is beautiful, but I’d prefer to get something that’s ours, especially with the baby coming.”

Last night I couldn’t help feeling horror at the idea of the baby throwing up or having a blowout all over the white duvet.

“Well, let’s see what they have,” Rosie says, using her shopping cart to all but shove a woman out of her way.

“Rosie,” I scold when we’re out of ear shot.

She looks over her shoulder. “What?” She bats her eyes innocently. “I didn’t do a thing.”

“You know exactly what you did.”

“Well, she should’ve moved when I politely cleared my throat the second time.” She gives an unbothered shrug and brings the cart to a stop in front of a line of comforters and quilts. “See anything you like?” She gestures and I pause beside her to look at them.

The options are plentiful, which makes it a little daunting.

I pluck a light blue comforter off the shelf. “This one.”

“Excellent choice.” She nods her approval. “Sheets?”

“Yeah. I’d like to get two sets so if something happens to one, I have a backup.”

She snaps her fingers. “Good idea, especially with a baby. You might even want three sets.”

I hesitate as we start down the aisle. “You think?”

“It can’t hurt.”

I peruse the aisle, choosing a linen color, a pastel yellow set, and the final a blue and white stripes option that matches the décor already in the apartment. I hope I’m not going overboard but with a baby I think it makes the most sense to be prepared.

After picking out bathroom linens, we make our way to the furniture and find a dresser. I’m not being too picky with my choices, because I figure this place isn’t our forever home.

Our? My conscience taunts me and I bat the innocent thought away. We are having a baby together; it only makes sense to think of us as a collective unit. It doesn’t mean I’m writing our happily ever after and riding off into the sunset with him.

“What are you thinking about?” Rosie prompts as we get into the checkout line. “You seem lost in thought.”

“Just thinking about getting everything ready.”

“Don’t worry.” She pats me on the shoulder. “Daire and I will leave you guys in tip top shape.”

Rosie wasn’t kidding. The two of them stay much later than I expected. Daire helps Luke with assembling things for the baby like the stroller and bouncer and Rosie helps me launder all the new linens and change out the sheets on the bed, as well as unboxing our things.

We haven’t gotten a crib yet, because it was the one thing I insisted I wanted to choose and purchase. Everything else I wasn’t picky about. And it’s not even that I’m picky about this, I just selfishly want to choose the crib my baby is going to sleep in. We did receive a co-sleeper to set beside the bed from our baby shower, and I have a feeling that will come in quite handy during late nights with a newborn, especially when Luke is out of town.

My stomach roils at the thought of being left alone with a crying newborn while he’s away at games. I wish I had more experience with children, but I also know there’s nothing that can truly prepare you for your own.

“Did you have fun today?” Luke asks, putting dishes in the dishwasher after we’ve said our goodbyes to our friends.

“I did. I didn’t expect them to show up this soon.”

He laughs. “I did. Rosie looked way too sad over you leaving. Granted, I thought she might make it longer than a day—I figured by another week she’d be visiting.”

“She’s a good friend.” I stifle a yawn. It’s not even that late, not quite nine o’ clock yet, but exhaustion is settling into my bones. I’m finding that pregnant tired is its own beast.