Page 83 of Honest Boys Don’t Play

Luke, angel that he is, knows me well enough that he wakes me an hour before his mom is due to arrive so I can change and put a little makeup on. I don’t feel like doing much with my hair, so I keep it back with a claw clip. He watches me as I get ready, looking at me like I’m the prettiest thing he’s ever seen.

Rory, like he senses a visitor is about to arrive, decides to start screaming when his grandma should be five-minutes away.

“He’s probably hungry again,” I groan.

I’m quickly learning that newborns eat all the time.

Luke, without any hesitation, picks him up and changes his diaper and clothes. He passes him to me, and I sit down in the chair to feed him.

“Are you starving my little love?” I ask, rubbing my fingers against his downy soft hair. For some reason, I thought our baby wouldn’t have any hair or else he’d be like me when I was born with hair so blond I might as well have been bald. Apparently, my brain forgot Luke’s half of the DNA in this equation.

Rory reaches one little fist up and I offer my finger, smiling when he takes it.

I was worried about how I might settle into motherhood, and while the past few days have been exhausting, they’ve also been the best of my life.

Luke checks his phone. “She’s almost here. I’m going to go wait outside if you’re okay.”

I smile up at him. “We’re good.”

The door clicks shut softly behind him. I keep rubbing Rory’s soft head and his eyes continue fluttering shut like despite the fact that he was only just sleeping.

“You’re so perfect,” I tell him. “Do you know that?” He hums in answer. I’m sure he’s just making a pleased sound at the taste of my milk, but I’d like to think he’s talking back to me in his own way. “Mommy loves you so much.” He makes another small sound and unlatches his tight grip from my finger to splay his hand on my breast.

I switch breasts and he screams in annoyance, tongue flailing.

“Oh, calm down,” I tease. “Just give me a second.”

He hums in contentment the moment he latches onto my opposite breast.

“See.” I rub his rounded pink cheek. “That only took a few seconds.”

He finishes on that side and burps quickly. I set him back in his bassinet so I can clean myself up before Luke returns with his mom.

I’m straightening my top when the door opens and his mom enters first with a bag from a chain restaurant in one hand and a wrapped gift in the other. She smiles from ear to ear when she sees me. “Oh, look at you. You’re too beautiful to have just given birth.”

I tuck a piece of hair behind my ear. “You’re too kind.” I gesture to the bassinet. “Do you want to meet your grandson? He just ate so he should be happy for a while.”

“Of course I want to, but let me see you first.”

She puts down the bag and gift and crosses the small space to hug me. It takes me by surprise enough that I don’t hug her back right away. I relax into her embrace, though, and finally wrap my arms around her. I close my eyes, letting myself absorb the warmth of her motherly affection.

When I open my eyes, Luke is leaning against the kitchen counter watching me with a look that can only be described with one word I’m terrified to acknowledge when it comes to him.

Jocelyn releases her hold on me, and I’m embarrassed to say I almost ask her to hug me again. Instead, I manage to pick Rory up out of his bassinet and hand him to her.

“Oh,” she gasps. “Just look at him. He’s perfect.”

“I think he is too.” I smile, watching her with her grandson as she continues to offer more words of praise and soaks in every bit of him.

“Bertie, I think he has your lips.”

“You think so?” I ask excitedly, peering over at my son’s face.

“Definitely. And I could be wrong, but I think he’s going to have Luke’s ears.”

“Why do you say that like there’s something wrong with my ears?” Luke reaches up, rubbing at them.

Jocelyn turns to him. “I didn’t say there was anything wrong with them.”