Page 115

“You fell in love with me?” I whisper, barely able to get the words out, but wanting to hear it again. Is it possible that he feels the same way about me as I feel about him?

He nods his head. “And I wasn’t expecting it. I wasn’t ready. My shields were down. I thought you’d be just another girl. You were anything but. You’re the girl.”

“The girl?” I ask, barely able to keep up with what he’s saying.

“The girl. The one that knocked me on my arse. The one that came out of nowhere. The one I’ll never get over.”

Hope rises in my chest, and I long to reach for him, but something stops me. “Do you have to get over me?”

He smiles. “I don’t think I ever will.”

This conversation isn’t going how I expected. It’s not even going how I could have possibly imagined it. “You’re not making a whole lot of sense. You’re talking like I died. But I’m right here. And I just told you that I’m in love with you too.”

Instead of joy on his face, he has a look on his face like I told him I just crashed his favorite car.

“What?” I ask.

“You can’t love me,” he says, shaking his head.

“You just told me you love me. But I’m not allowed to say it?” I reach for the bottle. I either need to have not had the first glass or I’m going to need a second bottle. I’m totally confused.

“You deserve someone who isn’t…me,” he says.

My heart turns inside out, and I want to slide onto his lap and wrap my arms around him. What is he talking about?

“So you’re saying you love me but you’re not going to do anything about it because I deserve better?” I just want to make sure I’m following this train of thought out of the station.

“Yes. It’s difficult. I didn’t expect you were going to have feelings⁠—”

“I love you,” I say, interrupting him, frustration swelling in me.

He shakes his head. “I’m sorry. I never meant for this to get so…messy.”

“But here we are,” I say. “You love me, and I love you.”

“You understand though, right? You get why I have to walk away?”

“No. I absolutely do not. Unless it’s just something you say to let someone down gently because you’re really not that into them.”

He holds my gaze and I feel myself melting under his inspection. “I’m very into you,” he says.

“Then we should try this,” I say.

He shakes his head, and it’s like he’s ripped out my heart.

He doesn’t want me.

The room starts to spin and I grip the edge of the table. This can’t be happening.

“I have no idea how to have a relationship. It doesn’t mean I don’t love you, but I’ve managed to keep my own brother at arm’s length.” He shakes his head like he’s an idiot. “I love you too much to cause you pain. I just don’t think I’m capable of being a good boyfriend.”

I love this man and now that I know that he loves me too, I’m not prepared to accept what he’s saying. That’s not how I work.

“So you’re not going to even try? You? The man who would stop at nothing to make sure he never had to live in his car again. The man who has New York at his feet because of his grit and determination. The man who can fix any issue, smooth over any problem. You’re just going to walk away because you don’t think you can do it?”

He sighs and pushes his hands into his hair. “There was less at stake then. I only had to worry about myself. I would rather lose you than hurt you.”

“If you don’t want to hurt me, then you’re not going to walk away from me. Not ever.”