Page 99 of Falling for the Enemy

He tsked. “Jesus, Joce.” He automatically pulled her scorched, red skin to his lips and kissed her booboos.

She smiled, unsure why she loved it when he did that so much. “All better. Thanks.”

Soren drifted into the den and stared at the half-constructed diaper cake. “What are you trying to build?”

“It’s supposed to be a cake.”

“Out of diapers?”

“I don’t know.” She shrugged. “I don’t make the rules. Women do all kinds of weird shit when babies come along. I saw it on Pinterest.”

Of course, the one on Pinterest actually looked like a cake. Hers looked like it survived a natural disaster.

He glanced at the notebook with a list of games jotted down. “Dirty diaper game?” He looked horrified.

“You fill diapers with baby food, and the guests lick them to see if they can guess the flavor.”

He swallowed and pressed a fist to his mouth. “I’m sorry, what?”

“It’s a popular baby shower tradition.”

“According to who? People aren’t going to lick shit out of diapers!”

“It’s not shit. It’s baby food.”

He gagged. “Absolutely not. No way I’m doing that.”

She took the notebook from him and flipped a page, making a note beside Soren’s name.

“What are you writing?”

“I’m taking that as your RSVP.”

“I’ll be there, but I’m not licking a dirty diaper.”

“You’ll do what I tell you to do and like it.”

“Oh, really?” He laughed, corralling her back toward the sofa. “I seem to recall it was the other way around this weekend.”

He plucked the tie of her kimono loose and caught the back of her knees, dropping her onto the cushions in one smooth move.

“Speaking of licking. I couldn’t stop thinking about how we christened the dining room table.”

“Oh?”

“Mm-hm.” He kissed a path down her neck, dragging his mouth across her collarbone as he shrugged his suit jacket off in one impatient motion. “Gave me an instant hard on at work.”

“Did you jerk off?”

He drew back as if wondering why he hadn’t thought of that. “No, but now I wish I had.”

“Next time, you should. And you should call me while you’re doing it.”

“Why? Would you touch yourself too?”

She shrugged. “Sure. I masturbate all the time during work.”

“Ohmygod,” he groaned, collapsing into her. “You can’t tell me shit like that. How often?”