Page 69 of The Duke and His Jilted Bride

Aurelia couldn’t think of anything to say either. She had been so close to sleeping she was half-convinced his appearance there in the hallway was a dream. She looked around her, blinking. The dogs were on either side of her. The corridor was dark. His face was exhausted. There was still dried blood on his jaw.

She stood up. Her knees hurt as she steadied herself. He didn’t try to help her, and that stung more than when he had slammed the door in her face half a day ago – though she understood why he had done it in the end.

“How is he?” she asked.

“Stable, I think. Breathing… But I’m no doctor.” He looked at her carefully, his voice a whisper. “His colour is better than it was hours ago.”

“Good.” She pressed her hands together. They were cold and clammy. “That's good.”

He was still looking at her, and she avoided his gaze, staring at the floor. She took a step away to dismiss herself, not wanting to present an obstacle between him and his bed – which he desperately needed.

“You've been out here all night,” he said, stopping her from leaving. It wasn’t quite a question, and the gentle inquisitiveness of it caught her off guard.

“I slept a little, on the chair.” She glanced at it beside Titan. Nike was moving, coming around to Evander. One of the maids had brought the chair out around midnight, but the floor was better. “But not much.”

“You should have gone to bed, Aurelia.”

“I know.” She looked at him, and her eyes burned from lack of sleep and the threat of tears. “But I know what you saw when you came upstairs. I know what it looked like…”

He took a small step back.

She said, “I need to explain–”

Suddenly, without warning, he crossed the corridor in three steps and put his arms around her.

It wasn't a gentle embrace. It was the embrace of someone who had been frightened for a long time. His arms were tight around her and his face was against her hair. She felt him shake, just once, and then he was holding her so hard she could barely breathe. She held him back just as hard and felt her own eyes sting as suppressed tears streamed from them.

“Don't,” he said. “Don't ever… Don't pack your things. Don't think about leaving. Don't–” He stopped. “I need you here. Do you understand that?” I need you. More than I have ever needed anything. And not just because of tonight, but because of you… I…”

“You don’t have to say it.” She pressed her face into his shoulder, willing him to stay, feeling embarrassed and ashamed. “I know. I'm so, so sorry.”

“Just don't go.”

“I won't.” She pulled back enough to look at him. His eyes were wet. She had never seen his eyes wet before, not like this. “I won't go. I promise you.”

He pressed his forehead to hers, and he breathed until his breaths came out long and steady. They stood like that for a moment, just the two of them in that strange moment of intimacy. She had thought about what might happen when he saw her again. This was nothing like she had dreamed, that he would beg her to stay, and that he meant it.

“Seraphina told me,” she said, the words still stinging a little even though she had made her peace with them. “She told me about what happened in the library.”

“What?” Evander blinked, then he raked a hand over his face. They had almost detached themselves by then. “You know?”

“Yes, I saw. And then, last night, while we were waiting... She wasn't herself. She told me everything.” She felt his hands tighten on her back. “Evander... I'm not hurt by it now.”

“You were angry enough to start packing.”

“I was packing because from the doorway it looked like…” She stopped. “I didn't understand what I was seeing. I didn’t want to believe things, make them up in my mind. But I was in so much pain then I couldn’t think rationally. Then Seraphina told me what actually happened. That you pushed her away, and you told her to stop. You didn’t initiate any of it.”

She took a breath. Her eyes were still stinging.

“She is not well. I know that excuses nothing. What she said and what she did – none of it is excusable. But she spent last night telling me things about how she feels, what she has done about her marriage to Frederick.” She paused. “She is a woman who has been trying to belong somewhere her whole life and keeps choosing the wrong place to settle.”

“Aurelia…”

“She said she never fit anywhere. That she has spent so long pretending to be the right version of herself that she doesn't know what's actually there anymore.” She looked at him. “I understood some of that, even though I know she was wrong for what she did. And I saw how she cried for Frederick. She does love him, I know it.”

Evander remained silent in front of her.

“I'm not forgiving her,” Aurelia said. “Not tonight. I'm just telling you she is broken in a way that started long before this week.” She searched for his eyes, tilted his face gently so he would look at her when that failed. “She does love Frederick. I believe that. Whether it's enough, I don't know. And whether she deserves him… Well, that’s another question entirely. Maybe she’s ruined it. There are some things, maybe, that people can’t come back from.”