Page 18 of Your Pace Or Mine

Well, that puts a damper on things. I guess this isn’t happening tonight. But I don’t want to come across as judgmental. I know lots of people have to live in less-than-ideal arrangements.

I take his hand. “No worries. We can take a rain check, then. I have friends who had to move back home after job situations or divorce or whatever.”

He looks confused. “Oh, it’s not like that. I just like living with my parents. I’ve never bothered to move out.”

Never? He’s almost forty. Maybe it’s a cultural thing, but I’m curious. “Don’t you want your own space sometimes?”

“Well, sure, it can be a pain living down the hall from my mother and father, but it has its benefits. I never have to cook or clean, for example.”

He grins broadly like this is a genius move, not a decision that makes him look like a man-child. My brain is imploding, but I can’t help but ask, “What about girlfriends?”

“I always go to their place. If there’s anyone serious, she can move in with me and Mom and Dad. Our apartment’s pretty spacious. She can split the cooking with my mom.”

Well, there goes the last of my libido. I’m tempted to ask how that’s working for him, but it’s not like my love life is flourishing. Since I don’t want to have him over now, and I definitely don’t want to share homemaking tasks with his mom, this date is very much over.

“You know what, it’s been fun, but I’m going to get a car home now.” I kiss him lightly on the cheek as I stand up.

“Yeah, I figured.” He shrugs, then lets me walk away. I catch him giving the bartender a flirtatious glance as I’m leaving. Maybe he’ll have better luck there and she won’t ask too many questions.

I relay the whole situation to Laurel and Stevie in the car ride home. I can almost hear their laughter through the ether.

Stevie:

O. M. G. Dodged a bullet.

Laurel:

That’s a hard no. My mom and I would kill each other.

Stevie:

Does anyone like their parents enough for that? I sure don’t.

Laurel:

So you’re saying you don’t want Ethan and his future girlfriend to live with you until he’s forty?

Stevie:

Kill me now.

I love my mom, but the idea of living with her and bringing a man home while she’s one wall away makes me shudder.

What is my life, honestly?

Laurel:

At least you’ll have good stories for the Instagram account!

Stevie:

I bet climbing dude sounds great now.

For real.

Stevie:

Maybe he’s still free. You could climb him.