Page 53 of Your Pace Or Mine

Don’t worry about it. I gotta go. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.

I don’t know what’s gotten into me. Suddenly so much in my life is in flux, and I’m reacting instead of thinking things through. I should go to bed and sleep off my funk, but instead I open and close my text thread with Laurel a zillion times, wondering if I should add a stupid meme as a virtual peace offering, or if that will make it worse. I’m sure we’ll be okay because Laurel doesn’t hold grudges, but I hate this. I close the thread and message Sebastian.

I did something stupid.

Sebastian:

Unless you got drunk and went to karaoke? That’s never advisable.

I was messaging Laurel and I took a stupid dig at her and Cal.

I thought you liked him. He seems like a decent guy. Annoyingly decent.

I don’t know. I’m in a weird mood.

Well, I’m sure she’ll forgive you.

Want me to come over?

I do, but I’m going out with Jared tomorrow, and it seems like leaning on Sebastian every time I feel crappy isn’t a great long-term coping strategy.

Nah, I’m going to turn in. Why aren’t you out having fun?

Got in early. I had a date, but we didn’t hit it off.

What? I thought your romancing skills were unparalleled!

She was nice enough. We’re just very different. She’s very into nature. And philosophy. And camping. I couldn’t fake enthusiasm for the great outdoors.

Sleeping on an air mattress isn’t your thing?

Kill me now.

I’ll let you get to sleep then. Sweet dreams.

My stomach is full of butterflies as I approach the restaurant door. I’m not sure if it’s good butterflies or just anxiety. I’ve had nerves before every date since Clint, but this feels worse, maybe because I’ve come to like online Jared, and he might not be the same in person.

Tell me I can do this.

Laurel:

Breathe. You got this.

I close my eyes, even though I’m sure I look stupid standing outside the restaurant. I was nervous seeing Laurel at our group run, but it was fine. She came over to help me get dressed and even made a special playlist. I declined her offer to scope out the place while I’m on the date, not wanting to take up her whole Saturday.

Stevie:

Think positive. He might be a sexy lumberjack. He might have an eight-pack and a smoldering gaze. This could be the best night of your life.

Stevie:

Or if he’s a jerk, kick him in the balls.

I break into laughter, which sends the butterflies fluttering away.

Okay, I’m heading in. I’ll keep you girls posted.

I spot Jared when I enter; he told me he’d be wearing a red sweater so I can find him easily. He waves, and I try not to look like I’m fully checking him out while I walk up to him. I don’t know what his deal with pictures is—this man is definitely attractive in person. He’s tall but not gangly, built but not like someone who never leaves the gym. His face lights up when he smiles at me.