Page 88 of Don’t Be A Stranger

“You’re hanging out with me,” I argue.

I lean my head against her shoulder and sigh. Content. For three whole seconds.

“Am I supposed to be pretending that you and River aren’t talking?” Lily asks nonchalantly.

“Yeah, actually,” I mumble. “You were.”

“Okay…but why?”

For the longest time, Lily has been the person I told everything to, but this one thing with River just seems like something I should keep to myself. It was already weird enough that I liked our best friend, so I didn’t want to make it even more awkward between all three of us by telling her.

I didn’t want her to think she had to pick sides or something. But denying my need to tell her everything is driving me insane. I’m tired of doing this alone but I’ve already ruined my friendship with River. This could ruin her friendship with either me or River. Or both of us.

Actually, never mind. I’m just going to keep my mouth shut.

“I thought you guys would’ve had the whole dating thing figured out by now,” Lily says, seemingly out of nowhere.

My eyes widen and I choke on nothing but air. I sit up. Lily joins me while patting my back and trying not to laugh.

“What the hell does that mean?” I cough.

“I’m not stupid, you know.” Lily grins in that gentle way of hers. “You and River have always been kind of obvious. Like, get a room obvious.”

“Not true!”

“Yes it is.” She laughs. “I thought you guys just felt weird about pursuing anything ’cause I was around. Then you both left for Ellingbrook and now River is texting me and asking if you’re okay.”

It’s not that I can’t keep this up any longer, it’s just getting exhausting.

I scoot closer to Lily, our knees now touching. She watches me. Not judgementally or expecting anything from me. I could tell her nothing and she’d be fine with that. She’d let me come to her when I was ready.

Lily may spiral about everything else in life, but when it comes to River and me needing a shoulder to cry on or advice, she’s always been the steady one.

I know Lily enough to know that she’d never laugh in my face. Or tell me I’ve ruined everything. What I’m terrified of is Lily agreeing with River.

That he and I would never work out—not in a million years.

I take a deep breath. “River and I kissed.” And because Lily remains quiet, I keep talking. “And then we kissed a few more times after that.”

“You only kissed?” She gently pushes.

I try to keep a straight face, but I sometimes forget that Lily knows me just as much as I know her.

“Okay.” She simply nods. “You guys were…physical. Is that all you wanted?”

My shoulders drop. “At first, yeah. Maybe? I guess I thought I did but—now I want more and River just…doesn’t.”

“What?” Lily’s eyes widen. “He said that?”

I groan and lean forward, resting my forehead against Lily’s thigh. She doesn’t flinch like she normally does. This time, she rests her hand on my head.

“He said that we wouldn’t work. That he didn’t want me to settle.”

Settle? For him?

River is insanely delusional if that’s what he thinks.

Lily’s laughter fills the space between us and my head shoots back up, confused. Her smile is wider than I’ve seen in a long time. “Are you telling me that River thinks you guys can’t date because you’re too good for him?”