Page 64 of Lethal Attraction

The fact that Rowan would handle this like a well-adjusted, functional adult is deeply inconvenient. Unless it comes to his wife. Fuck.

I’m not even gonna fucking try with Atlas. He would be team basement before I could fully get the words out.

I turn towards Reed and take his cheeks in my hands as I smoosh his face and drag him down to nose level with me. His eyes widen slightly, and I soak in those brown pools.

“I can’t tell you everything yet, but I need to give you an out.” It hurts to force the words past my lips. My chest aches in a way that almost feels searing. I don’t even want to listen to his response—

“An out?” He questions. “Thalia, nothing you have done will drive me away.”

I suckslate in, shaking my head. “Reed, you have no idea what I’m capable of.”

He looks down, clearing his throat. “Can I tell you something I’ve never told anyone before?”

I nod once.

He appears ashamed as he avoids my eyes. “When I was first starting out in my residency, I had never worked in the healthcare field before. I was a clean slate, and had no idea what I was doing or getting myself into.” He chuckles at the memory, but it’s a lifeless sound as his mirth quickly fades. “I was a week in and my patient in the ICU coded. He was losing his vitals quickly, and I was the only person around at the time due to such an influx of patients. Somehow he had ripped his trach out and he was drowning in his own blood.” He turns away from me as if the memory is too painful to see the look on my face as he continues. “I was stunned. I-I didn’t know what to do. I had never come across anything so bad before. It was a shock to my system, and I froze. Me. The medical professional. I was supposed to be saving that man, and instead, he passed before the code team could make it upstairs. I was ashamed, and I had failed as a doctor that day. I wanted to drop out of the program completely, but Taryn forced me to stay. After I was put on probation by our professor, I worked harder to put myself in those tough positions so I would never lock up again and lose someone because of my fear at that moment. Eventually, I became desensitized to the blood and the gore and even found comfort in it. But I think about that patient every day. I still send his wife letters and flowers on their anniversary.”

I frown as I place a hand on his bicep. “You were new and hadn’t been exposed to something like that before. It’s understandable to lock up.”

He releases a breath before giving me a wobbly smile. “The moral of this story is that I’ve seen it all, Thalia. Nothing you could say or do would drive me away.”

“What you did was an honest mistake…” I trail.

He chases my eyes. “And you’re saying what you’ve done isn’t?”

I roll my lips in as I turn away from his prying eyes. I feel so fucking small that I can’t stand how understanding and caring he is. I’ve never had that before…

Fingers curl around my chin, forcing me to face Reed and his soft expression. “Then show me.”

My eyes widen as the moment between us stretches. If a pin would drop, I’m sure I would hear it.

“What did you say?” I finally whisper.

“If you can’t tell me, then show me.”

“You don’t know what you’re asking me to do,” I laugh in disbelief.

He shrugs with a crooked smile. “Then I guess I’ll just have to see for myself, right? I’m not in this for a warm body, Thalia. I’m in this for you. All of you. Your secrets, your fears, your hobbies.”

He watches the conflict flicker across my face, and something in his expression softens even further. Not pity, but patience.

The worst part is that it makes me melt.

“Reed...” My voice cracks on his name.

His thumb brushed against my jaw. “Hey.”

“I can’t.”

His smile fades, but he doesn’t let go. “Can’t or won’t?”

The question lands like a punch. Because I don’t know. Maybe both.

My gaze drops to the floor between us. “You keep acting like this is something small.”

“I never said it was small.”

“Then stop looking at me like whatever I’ve done doesn’t matter.” My voice rises in the space between us, but it doesn’t rile him one bit.