Page 78 of Forbidden to Fall

“They shouldn’t.”

He turned his head forward again, staring up at the stars. “I understand why they do.”

“Yeah, but it’s been eight years.”

“Eight years they’ve watched my mom struggle without me. I didn’t exactly make myself any friends here before I left, either. It’d be silly to expect any now.”

Ever since James had come home, I’d been trying so hard to prove I could do business with him without betraying Ryan. It felt traitorous to befriend the man my brother hated.

But the man didn’t exist anymore.

How long would James have to pay for his mistakes before people would be satisfied? Before I could stop reminding myself what he’d done to dam up the feelings I had for him?

If Ryan wanted to hold onto his anger toward James, that was his prerogative.

I was done trying to punish him or hold him at arm’s length.

“You’ve got me.” As soon as the words came out, my heart thumped.

James’s head turned again.

I tried for a smile. “Friends?”

His gaze had never felt so piercing. “Friends.”

We looked at each other for a few seconds, neither of us talking.

Now that I’d put a platonic label on our relationship, though, the thoughts and feelings I had were already trying to burst out of the box.

“I should get some sleep,” I said.

“You should.”

“Good night, friend,” I said, like I could will the relationship and feelings into being by mere repetition.

“Good night, Sadie.”

I shut my eyes, knowing it would take me an eon to achieve calm, much less sleep.

Once or twice, I thought I felt James’s gaze on me, but I kept my eyes shut, forcing my thoughts to focus on the crackling of the fire and the gentle breeze that rustled the leaves and licked at the skin on my face.

At some point, I heard James add a log to the fire, and it wasn’t long after he got back in his sleeping bag that I finally nodded off.

My eyes fluttered open, but something blocked my vision. I blinked and blinked, then pulled my arm out of my sleeping bag to brush a leaf from my face. It must’ve dropped on me and woken me.

Lids heavy, I turned on my side, catching a bleary view of James’s dark form a few feet away. It looked like he was turned toward me, but I couldn’t see his face, and the warm glow that I’d fallen asleep to was gone. I wiggled my toes in my socks. They were warm, but not with the heat of the fire.

It must have gone out.

I closed my eyes and shifted to get comfy again. Maybe sleeping in three feet of snow was more feasible than I’d thought.

There was a sudden rustling, and my eyes flew open, my body going still.

I looked at James to see if it had been his sleeping bag, but he was completely still.

The rustling repeated, very clearly coming from somewhere behind me.

My heart knocked against my ribs. Should I turn around and see what it was?