Page 83 of A Little Bit Uncertain

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AUDRA

Well, that was interesting.

“Your girl?” his mom said to Donovan again after Jules walked away. “You knew we were bringing Evelyn so you guys could make up.”

He knew she was coming? Did he know when he asked me to come?

“You’re delusional, Mom. There’s no coming back from what you guys tried to do. There’s just not. Not that it matters anyway. Evelyn and I had two dates, and I felt nothing during them. I assure you, I feel less for her now.”

“But what about the baby?” Baby? My eyes shot to Donovan. What the actual fuck?

Donovan slapped the table hard enough to draw attention from the surrounding tables, speaking in a sharp, rising tone. “How dare you sit across from me and spew that shit? Any of you.”

I was not meant for that conversation. I wasn’t meant for any of this. I shouldn’t be here. I thought as my gut panged.

“It’s better than bringing her home,” she said as she pointed to me. “A nurse, Donovan, really?”

I stood up without realizing I was doing it and cut her off. Maybe Juliette sticking up for me gave me the confidence I needed, or maybe I just got pushed too far. If she dared to say anything like matching his pedigree, I was going to punch her in the throat.

“I am quite done being insulted here. I am a good person, and maybe I didn’t grow up in this, but lucky me. Thoughts of my family include warmth, love, laughter, and happy memories. You may have a billion dollars, but I am richer than you’ll ever be. What a damn shame. Your son is incredible. He is kind and loyal and loving and funny and thoughtful and successful and so many other things, but all you see is … well … I don’t know what you see, because you’ve sat here this entire time with the sole purpose of being terrible to me. For what reason? To hurt him? To try to get these two together?”—I pointed at him and Evelyn—“I’ve never been treated this way before in my life. I can’t believe Donovan and McKenna turned out so wonderfully with you two at the helm. Kenna, congratulations again on your wonderful achievement. You should be so proud. As for you three”—I looked at his parents and Evelyn—“I say with the utmost disrespect. Fuck you.” Turning on my heels, I moved out of there as fast as my feet could take me.

Through one of the mirrors, I saw Donovan stand up and point at his family while looking like he was yelling, but I couldn’t hear it over the ringing in my ears. I wasn’t confrontational in the least. In fact, I avoided it at all costs. I’d certainly never done anything like that before. My heart was pounding, I was sweating, my hands were shaking, and all I could think about was how to get out of the place without letting the tears that were building in my eyes fall.

How foolish of me to believe I belonged there in New York, enjoying the best days I’d had in forever. Next to Donovan, at a fancy restaurant that I was pretty sure I was pronouncing wrong, because I was nothing but a dumb nurse. I bet everyone in this restaurant knew the difference between sparkling wine and champagne. I can’t believe I sat through almost thirty minutes of character assassination while watching that dumb bitch try to put moves on Donovan. And why didn’t he defend me more? Why didn’t he suggest we leave earlier after it was clear what this was going to be? I didn’t know what I was walking into, but he sure did. Maybe deep down, he thought the same way they did. And it really was going to be Theo all over again.

The first tear spilled as I hit the bottom step of the staircase. I just had to make it across the floor before I was outside. But the tears, man, they came fast. I could feel my lip quivering as I reached the door, and by that point, they were silently streaming.

“Audra!” a voice shouted through the restaurant. I turned, and Donovan was at the top of the steps. Our eyes met, but I couldn’t do it. So much for not making a scene.

“Audra, wait,” he pleaded.

I turned back around and ran out the door.

Click. Click. Click.

Fuck. The photographer. I didn’t even think about him, and I definitely didn’t need that right now. All I wanted to do was sit and sob, but instead I had to mount a freaking getaway? I was sure they already had their money shot of me crying, and they could take their story wherever they wanted. Ugh. Van wouldn’t be happy about that. Fuck. Taking a right, I hustled as well as I could in heels and a tight dress and ducked into a semi-dark alley down the block to catch my breath. Was I really trying to hide myself behind a dumpster? My stomach was churning, and I wasn’t sure if it was because of the awful smell, the fact that I sat through that, or because I believed I could fit into a life like theirs. I was still shaking from the encounter, and I didn’t know if I’d ever been so embarrassed before. Pulling out my phone, I saw the slew of texts and phone calls.

Donovan

Audra, where are you?

I’m coming to you, please tell me where you are

I’m so sorry that went on as long as it did. We should have left immediately.

Please let me explain myself and everything.

I am going to drive around with Miles to look for you. I’m so sorry.

Please. Even if you don’t want to see me, please let me know you’re okay. I’ll arrange a hotel for you. You won’t even have to see me. Please just let me know if you’re safe.

New York was full of people, and I didn’t know if I’d ever felt so alone. I could’ve called Jules, and she’d swoop in, but she was being celebrated, and I didn’t want to take that from her. However, I didn’t want to see Donovan either. What a mess.

After hiding in the alley for about fifteen minutes, the smell got to me. I pulled my hair out of the chignon, put on my big girl pants, and tried to figure out my next move. What were my options? Take him up on the hotel? Put myself up at a much shoddier hotel? Try to book a flight home? Rent a car? Ugh. I didn’t want to do any of those things; I just wanted to lie down.

Coming out of the alley, I noticed a hotel on the next block. I wouldn’t book a night there, but I could have a drink at the hotel lobby to regroup. It was only 7:15 p.m., so I could at least get off my feet and out of a dark alley to figure it out. I wiped the bottom of my lids to get rid of any raccoon eyes and walked over.