Page 37 of Will to Run

This particular morning, after sunrise, I know I won’t see him again because he has plans tonight, but before I have a chance to be upset about it, Molly and Hazel pop in to talk about plans.

“What are you up to this weekend?” Hazel asks as she gives her horse a treat.

“Probably barricading myself in my painting room,” I reply.

Picking up that brush yesterday cracked open a part of my soul. I want to make up for five years of lost time. There’s no shortage of new and novel things around this ranch I want to capture.

“Perfect because tomorrow is my favorite day of the year, and Molly and I want to invite you along,” she says, practically bouncing on her toes.

“Me?” I stop and look up.

“Yes, you. It’s the finalizing weekend for the spa!” Hazel talks, and Molly dances behind her. “And we get to be their test dummies. Any interest in joining us?”

“What’s that look like?” I asked.

“It means we get to enjoy spa treatments to ensure everything is perfect for high season guests.”

“Does anyone say no to that?” I lean on my shovel and laugh at the polar opposites of luxury spa treatments and shoveling shit.

“We never asked anybody else.” Hazel adds. “Plus, I’m maybe stereotyping here, but I’m guessing you have been to a spa before, so you can provide comparative insight.”

I’m thrown for a loop after that statement. They’ve never asked anyone else? Is that because they feel bad for me? Regardless, I’m not going to say no.

“Sign me up! What time?”

“Fantastic! Ten tomorrow morning.” she replies. “Okay, I have to get ready to take my first group of the season out! I’m so excited!”

Hazel bounds off, and that leaves Molly and me just chit-chatting before she has to go. While Hazel is so deep in the horses, I can’t get over how passionate Molly is about hay. She leaves to monitor irrigation, or something about water, and takes her Gator to head to the fields. There’s so much of this ranch I haven’t explored yet; I don’t even know where these hay fields are.

When I wrap up in the afternoon, I shoot Jaxon a quick text to see if he’s still doing the thing with his buddies, and when he says he is, I head home to paint. There’s a hint of disappointment that, after our rather intimate night last night, he’s not around tonight. But not all is lost; he texts me more than a handful of times when he is with his friends, carrying on a conversation about what I’m painting, and each time my phone dings, my smile gets bigger.

Saturday morning, I stroll to the lodge, and at ten on the dot, the girls arrive. The second we walk in to enjoy our day, I know it’s going to be a completely different experience from the last time I was at the spa. I had been with my future mother and sister-in-law, and it was anything but relaxing. They were rude to the staff and tried to question me about things that didn't make sense back then. The most shocking conversation was regarding what I would do if I were unhappy with the intimacy of my marriage. It crossed all conceivable lines back then, but now it was crystal clear that she was asking me what I was going to do when I became aware that I couldn’t satisfy my husband.

This time, I am left to my own thoughts and can relax to enjoy the experience.

For the final part of the day, the three of us end up in pedicure chairs together. It doesn’t matter that I had gotten my toes done ten days ago; I am getting a new one, a colorful one, and continuing to erase all traces of my never-wedding.

With the three of us, it isn’t so quiet, and they have a plethora of questions for me. At least they aren’t trying to beat around the bush.

“So,” Molly smiles, “you and Jaxon. What’s up with that?”

My lips roll into my teeth because I don’t know how to answer that question.

“Nothing really. Like everybody else on the ranch, he’s been amazing. I have felt so at home, and I’m grateful for the opportunity to be here.”

“Great, so now that the formal interview portion is over, let’s talk like friends,” Hazel laughs.

“Yeah,” Molly cuts in, “the man watches the sunrise with you every morning. Do you know how many times he’s done that in his life?”

“I mean, I’m sure he’s watched a stupid amount of sunrises,” I answer.

“Not like that,” Molly replies. “But fine, if you don’t want to talk about sunrises, how about the way he eye-fucks you whenever you’re in the same space?”

“Ugh, gross,” Hazel chimes in.

The whole thing makes me burst out laughing.

“Are you guys hooking up?” Molly asks point-blank.