Page 74 of The Highland Heir

But what of him? What was he getting out ofthis?

“You are not dressed,” he pointed out, thensmiled. “Unless you plan to marry me in breeches. I would not mind,for you are quite fetching in them. But it might cause talk in thehall.” He winked at her, and she felt her bottom lip tremble.

“I am sorry, Arran.” She broke into tears,causing Arran to look stricken with concern for her. She didn’tdeserve his goodness.

“I’m sure you’ve nothing to be sorry for,Ella. Everything will be fine when we marry. I’ll make sure younever have cause for tears.”

She shook her head. He could not make suchpromises.

Life wasn’t to be lived without tears.Marriage didn’t bring a guarantee that everything would be perfectfrom the moment the vows were spoken. It was a pledge that whateverbrought tears would never be faced alone.

“Why do you want to marry me?” she managed toask.

He cleared his throat before answering,“There are so many reasons they are too great to think of justone.”

“Then tell me two or maybe three,” shesaid.

“Oh. Well . . . you are cleverand witty. I enjoy conversing with you.”

She nodded.

“You are lovely. Any man would be proud tocall you his wife.”

So far, she couldn’t find fault with hisreasons, but then he seemed to stall. He looked into the fire as ifmesmerized by the flames.

“I believe I shall need to hear a thirdthing,” she prompted. If the third thing convinced her he washappy, she would go back to Jenny’s cottage and change into herwedding gown right away.

Arran shook his head. “I’m afraid the thirdreason might well be the true reason, and I don’t wish to sayit.”

She stood and placed her hand on his arm.

“We should be able to tell each otheranything, even if it is difficult, should we not?”

He nodded and let out a sigh.

“I came to Kildary to get away from my ownclan. I had been in love with a girl there, and she marriedanother. Here at Balnagown, I hoped to end my pain in battle. Igave my sword to the Ross laird and ran into the fray of battlewith no care of walking back out. But I did. Over and over, Isurvived. And your uncle thought me so brave he gave me the honorof being his war chief. And little by little, I started to careagain that I walked off the battlefield. But . . .”

“The pain didn’t go away? You thoughtmarrying someone you cared for would help?”

He looked at her as if he thought her a witchfor reading his mind. Then he nodded.

“I take it you are in a similar situation?You have given your heart to another and hoped to scrape up enoughhappiness in a marriage with someone whom you saw only as afriend?”

She nodded again.

“Kieran?” he guessed.

She wiped at her tears and nodded.

“It was foolish to lose my heart to him, forhe is being married to another. And even if the contract fallsthrough, he would never be mine. Why can we not cling to what wecan have rather than suffer the rest of our lives for whatwe cannot?”

He slumped into the chair next to her.

“I am ashamed,” he said. “I had hoped youwould be enough to heal my heart. But that is not fair to you. Toask you to take on such a burden.”

“And to know we would be destined tofail?”

He nodded and then let out a painfullaugh.