Page 19 of Discovering Her Earl

Chapter Seven

Lainey closed the door to her room and slumped against the wall, her mind warring with confusion and irritation. Say nothing of her heart which was beating madly for a man who had once again wiggled his way past her defenses.

How was she to manage stealing all of his smallclothes after he’d shared his feelings so?

She’d attempted to put distance between her and the earl, but instead, she found herself touching him at one point during the meal. It had been only to offer comfort, but he was the enemy.

One did not offer comfort to their enemies.

Yet, she hadn’t wanted to stop with a mere pat of the hand. She’d wanted to pull him into her arms and offer him a safe place. To ease the pain of the boy he’d been when told repeatedly he wasn’t good enough.

She feared she was in danger of liking him. She needed to do a better job of hating him. If she couldn’t manage hatred, she could possibly muster up disgust. Dislike? Something she could use to shield herself from the danger he was to her heart.

She’d never have guessed it would be so difficult. Not with the way she’d felt in regard to the earl over the years. But one day with him and she felt as exposed and vulnerable as she had the night he’d…

She closed her eyes and pushed the memory away. It didn’t matter anymore. He didn’t matter.

Except when he’d escorted her to her room and hesitated for a moment while staring at her lips, she’d felt hot all over and a bit out of breath. She didn’t know how he’d managed to stir up such a response, but she needed to make sure it didn’t happen again.

He was incredibly attractive. She’d known that since she’d first seen him across the ballroom during her come out. He had a beautiful smile. This was not news either. She should have been better prepared to deal with him. Or better yet, prepared to deal with her reactions to him.

But from across the ballroom, long ago, she’d not noticed how very dark his hair was. The way it nearly shined blue in the dim light of the dining room. Upon closer examination, she’d seen how his eyes had bursts of gold in the center giving depth to the blue.

Blast and damn. She shouldn’t be intrigued. It didn’t matter that the outer package was so appealing. Not when his insides were rotten.

Except he’d brought his valet because he thought of the man as a friend rather than a servant. How rotten could he be?

She changed for bed and slipped under the blankets, exhausted but nowhere close to sleep with her mind whirling the way it was.

She found herself holding her breath so she could listen to the sounds coming from the room next to hers. Was he in bed looking up at the ceiling the way she was? Was he thinking of her? Of her eyes?

She laughed and rolled to her side facing the wall that separated them. It was possible he wasn’t even in his room. He might have returned to the tavern below and found company with one of the women.

That thought caused a sharp tug in her chest. She wasn’t jealous. She couldn’t be.

She wouldn’t be.

Tomorrow she would raise an invincible wall between them where she would be safe from spending another night like this one.

*

After eating breakfast alone, Julian met up with Miss Bantham at the carriage. He helped her in and she thanked him coolly. Before the carriage had left the village, she pulled a book from her bag and began reading.

From his seat across from her he couldn’t make out the title on the spine. When he squinted, he noticed there was no title in sight. He entertained himself by trying to guess what she was reading.

A tome on archaeology? Perhaps she could read it aloud to help him prepare for the excavation. Or maybe it was a gothic novel complete with a grisly murder. Was she contemplating acting out such a thing and researching ways to dispose of his body?

Perhaps a tale of romance. Did she imagine herself as the fair maiden and he the dashing knight? Maybe she thought to offer her virtue in gratitude for him saving her from the barbarians?

That would not happen. Not only because there were no barbarians to be saved from. But there would be no surrendering of virtues for any reason. Not hers. Not to him.

Though he was a man, and the thought roused a recently neglected part of his anatomy causing him to shift uncomfortably in his seat. He noticed she also shifted uneasily. He continued to watch as she flipped page after page.

She was lovely. In the morning light coming through the window, she had a glow about her. Actually, as he examined more closely it wasn’t a glow.

She seemed to be glistening with a sheen of sweat on her brow. Then her skin began to take on a sickly greenish hue and she swallowed often.

He was about to ask if she was unwell, when she rapped on the roof to stop the carriage and tumbled out the door to be sick on the side of the road.