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“Well, I’m glad we’re doing this together, big guy.”
She places her hand on my chest, and I dip down to kiss her lips, lifting her up in the process. “So am I.”
Sydney hooks her legs around my middle and digs her heels into my ass. Once our tongues collide, I’m so full of her love, consumed by her light, that I could kiss her all day without coming up for air. But the alarm clock blaring from her bedroom is a reminder that I have to get moving if I plan to get to practice on time. My coach has already been up my ass, and I don’t need to give him a reason to lay into me even more.
As our lips separate, I have trouble breathing. For once, Sydney has sucked all the air out the room but in a good way.
With our foreheads touching, Sydney whispers, “I love you, Carter. Let me be your light.”
“You already are. It just took me a lot longer to notice. I love you, too, baby. I love you so fucking much. But I have to get to practice.”
She laughs. “Way to ruin the moment with hockey.”
“You’ll always come before hockey, just not today. Sorry if I fucked up our moment.”
“I’ll be here when you get back, ready and waiting for my big guy.”
My face hurts from smiling so much. Sydney is everything I ever needed in my life. She’s the light to my dark and just soft enough to crack my hard exterior. And I love her. For the first time in my life, I am in love. It’s a good feeling.
Chapter 18
Sydney
Sitting in front of my computer, I chew on the tips of my nails, debating what I should do about the Carter and Sydney inspired book I’m supposed to publish within the year. I have no clue. Nothing has come to mind since Carter and I have gotten back together.
My editor has been up my ass almost every day for the outline that was due weeks ago. Still, nothing is percolating inside my head. I am nowhere near the point I should be at this stage in the process. While most things in the publishing world move like molasses, my publisher operates at a much faster pace. We’re at the point where even my editor’s boss is antsy and dying to get her hands on the story. But I have nothing to show.
Most days start in the same fashion as today. I wake up with Carter when he leaves for practice at the ass crack of dawn, except when he’s out of town for away games. Then, I go back to sleep for a few hours until he calls to pull me from my slumber, reminding me I need to work. Around noon, he’s done being hot hockey god, depending on the week. On occasion, he stays later to hang out with Tyler. Today must be one of those days because it’s well after lunchtime, and I haven’t heard a peep from him.
I fell hard for Carter. He’s the only constant in my life that makes sense anymore. Because of that, I cannot do this to him. I love him too much to jeopardize our relationship over this book. And I have plenty of money to hold me over that I don’t need to sell my soul to sell this book. At least I made my mind up.
After grinding my nails down to the skin, I decide to pick up the phone on my desk and call Carter. The new Sydney communicates without playing games. I want to be the woman that Carter deserves. If I tell him about the book and how our love story can help me break into a different market, maybe he will give me permission to write about us. But it’s not just my story, which is why I was so hesitant all along.
Holding the phone to my ear, my hand shakes. This entire conversation will be hell.
What do I even say? Oh, hey, big guy, I’m writing a book about our fucked up lives is that cool with you?
No way in hell Carter will go for this, which is why I have to confess. The sooner I get this off my chest the better. He deserves to know I pitched this idea to my editor, who hardcore freaked over it.
Carter answers the phone on the third ring. “Hey, Princess. What’s up? I’m just finishing my workout with the guys. We ran a little late today.”
“I was just checking in on you to make sure you’re coming over later.”
“Yeah, I’ll be there.” He sounds out of breath, as if he’s mid-workout as he speaks into the receiver. “I probably won’t be over until closer to dinner.”
“How about I make something for us?”
Cooking is not one of my strong suits, but I have to make some kind of effort if I want to approach him with such a sensitive subject. I hope he doesn’t get too pissed about it.
“That sounds good.” He grunts, followed by a long pause, before he continues, “Look, babe, I have to get going. We’re in the middle of doing this exercise that’s kicking my ass, and I need both hands to do it.”
Pussy, I hear Tyler say on the other end of the line. You lift like a girl.
“You hear this shit?” Carter chuckles. “I have to go take care of Kane’s punk ass. Later, babe.”
As soon as the line goes dead, Carter leaves me alone and with my thoughts. The nerves creep up the back of my throat, choking me, as I stare at the blank document on my computer screen. Wasting time behind this desk does no good for anyone. It’s time to figure out a special dinner for Carter and head to the grocery store. He will be here in the next few hours, hungry for more than food. I have to feed him and talk about the book before he feasts on my pussy. Because once we start, we end up spending our entire night in the bedroom.
I cooked lasagna for dinner. Or at least I attempted to make something that resembles Italian food. Kennedy said it would be easy, but apparently, I do not belong in the kitchen. Hovering over me, Carter laughs in my ear before bending down to pull me into his arms and kiss my forehead.
