Page 84 of The Lady’s Sweet Revenge

“I loved him,” Harlow confessed. “And he lied.”

“I know. I did as well. I never thought my own brother was capable of such a betrayal. He will pay for his mistakes.”

Her mother thought she was overwhelmed with everything that had happened, and in truth, she was. But this heartache was not because of her uncle.

“I was speaking of Lord Breckenridge.”

“Oh. I see.” Her mother looked out the window in surprise before tilting her head and smiling. “Love?”

“Please do not plan to have the banns read, Mother. He doesn’t wish to marry. And he was not the man I thought he was.”

“Because he lied?”

“The whole time I was there he was using me to lure Captain Merrick to him so he could retaliate for being shot.”

“It does sound like there was an awful lot of revenge going about in Scotland. Luke said you turned a pistol on Edgar. While I would gladly beat the man to his reward with my hat, that is not like you, Harlow.”

“I thought he’d betrayed me. While he was a coward, I don’t think he meant for me to be harmed. He did not handle things well at all, but at least he did not use me merely for bait.”

“We’re speaking of Lord Breckenridge again?”

Harlow could understand why her mother was confused. For Harlow was tossing back and forth in conversation.

“Yes. I thought he cared for me. I was foolish to think a man would do anything without gaining something from it. I was simply a part of his plan. Nothing more.”

“But you love him?” Her mother seemed fixated on that one part of the story.

“Only because I can’t seem to make myself angry enough to stop. I’m sure in a few days I’ll manage to forget all about him.” Even as she said it, she doubted it would be true. She wanted to see him. She wanted to yell at him. She wanted to kiss him. My she was a paradox, if ever she’d known one.

“And you’re certain he doesn’t care for you? From what Luke said the man went out of his way to assist you with your plan to…” Her mother coughed and let out a breath. “Well, I’m not exactly sure what transpired, but I’m to believe you were dressed up as a specter to force Edgar into confessing to his crimes…”

“Aye—I mean, yes.” She placed her fingertips to her lips as if to check to make sure they belonged to her. When had she taken to using Scottish words? Perhaps when she’d allowed a Scot to claim her lips so thoroughly. Clearing her throat, she attempted again. “Yes. If I was able to scare him a fraction as much as the fear I felt waking up on the Zephyr, then I thought to feel better about the ordeal.”

“And do you? Feel better?” her mother asked.

That was a good question. One Harlow avoided answering for she didn’t know how. She thought revenge would ease the hurt. She thought leaving Reese behind would ease the pain. So far, neither proved true. Instead of sharing all of that, she focused on the one small truth she could grasp onto.

“It is good to be home,” she said instead, but even that didn’t feel entirely right. She loved their manor house in the country, but it seemed too quiet now.

She’d grown accustomed to hearing the waves crash against the rocky shore. She often wondered if she was hearing the actual sound or echoes from past waves. More than just hearing was the way the house itself seemed to hum in rhythm to the sea that touched its very foundation. She felt as if she too had been shaken to her foundation. And now she must find a way to move forward.

“I plan to marry next year. The first suitable man who proposes will be my husband. It is time.” She would give up on all the criteria she’d added to her original promise. So long as he wasn’t a lying agent for the Crown, or a nefarious sea captain, she would make the match.

When her mother didn’t speak, Harlow looked to see her staring at Harlow in surprise.

“What is it? It’s not so strange. I’ve planned to marry since my first Season. I’ve just been too particular in the past. Actually, no it was not my doing. The boys found fault in every man who came near me. But this time, my brothers will have no say in the matter. In fact, I don’t even want to speak to them about it. They have interfered long enough.”

Her mother laughed softly. “I wondered when you would see what they were about.”

“You knew they were toying with me?”

“I wouldn’t say they were toying with you, Harlow. They love you and they show how they care about you by protecting you. Though probably protecting you more than is needed. But they are men, dear. Men have no mind for nuance.” She waved a hand.

“If they truly wanted me to be happy, they would have guided me to a friend of theirs that was worthy, and I would already be married with a family. I wouldn’t be so very alone with no prospects. I wouldn’t have already…” Harlow hated that her eyes seemed to have sprung tears yet again, and her throat squeaked with tightness. For all the years she’d not cried it seemed to be catching up with her now.

“You wouldn’t already have given your heart to another?” At her mother’s correct assumption, Harlow could not keep the pieces together anymore. She broke down in loud, ugly sobs as her mother pulled her close.

When Harlow was able to speak, she nodded.