Page 31 of The Lyon’s Lass

“Shite,” Iain muttered more to himself.

Jack tapped his arm. Yes, he needed to turn to face Jack so he could read his lips, but this was not something he wanted to discuss with his wife’s brother.

“Aye. She is my wife. Husbands kiss their wives. It’s quite common.” Perhaps not as common in the peerage, but his parents had kissed quite often in front of him.

Jack watched him for a moment before asking, “You are still leaving?”

Iain nodded.

“I have to go. My life is on The Rue, moving cargo.”

Jack looked out over the green fields around them.

“Captain Iain’s life is on the sea. Lord Kesson’s life is here,” Jack said.

“Perhaps, but I’m not really Lord Kesson.”

“Just because it’s new doesn’t mean you are any less Lord Kesson. Not if you wished to be.” While Jack’s words were slightly mumbled, Iain was able to understand them perfectly. Mostly because Iain, himself, had been thinking the same thing.

But that was the issue, wasn’t it? Iain hadn’t wanted to be a lord at all. He was a sea captain. That is what he knew. What he was good at.

“Come. Let’s see the state of the stables. I’d like to have a list of everything that needs repairing before the workers come. Then I can tell them what to do first.”

Jack pulled out his slate and wrote down the word “Roof” in his immaculate handwriting and put three ticks next to it. He was starting the list. Iain didn’t actually need it written down. He’d developed a strong memory since writing was quite difficult for him.

“I will come back,” Iain said, surprising himself. “I don’t know how often. But I will visit occasionally. To make sure you are both well.”

Jack looked away and for a moment and Iain worried he’d not understood but then the boy who was nearly a man turned back to him.

“Perhaps you should not.”

Iain nodded. The lad was probably right. What good would it do to have this life for brief moments. Like a storm blowing into Maisy’s life, gone in the morning, leaving behind nothing but damage and debris.

He could not stay there long enough to give her the life she deserved. She’d wanted only a safe place for her and her brother, and Iain could do that. She’d not asked for a husband for anything other than protection.

Then she’d asked for a husband to show her the way of bed sport.

What if she asked him for more? He feared he’d be unable to refuse her. Not when she cast those golden eyes his way.

Did he want to leave? He couldn’t answer that. What he knew was that he needed to leave. By the time he returned to London, the supercargo would have his next run planned out. People were depending on him. Maybe not the crew because they could get work on any ship. But Hodge.

Except Hodge seemed content teasing Mrs. Sutherland as Iain made it back into the house.

Other people would be expecting his delivery of goods. But couldn’t any ship take them?

It was becoming more and more difficult for him to convince himself he had to leave her. But this wasn’t his life. And he’d not flit into Maisy’s life when it was convenient and take what he wanted without giving her what she was due as his wife. No, when he left, he would stay away rather than hurt them both over and over again with brief moments of happiness.

This was for the best.

Chapter Fourteen

Maisy frowned at the mess piled on the large desk that took up one half of the study. There was a stag’s head mounted on the far wall that Maisy was certain was watching her. The dark drapes made it feel like late evening instead of morning.

She pulled them back allowing the sunlight in and found the additional light did nothing to make the room look better. After all the repairs were made to the castle, Maisy would see this room put to rights with lighter colors and less… rubbish.

The ledgers were scattered all over the surface of the desk in no particular order. Among the books, receipts, and charges were a number of empty glasses and a few empty bottles. The decanters on the cart by the wall were all empty as well.

After a mild straightening, and organizing the ledgers into a tidy stack, Maisy selected the most recent one and opened it to find the last recorded entry was near on five months ago.