Page 257 of The Bluffing Game

“I’m sorry, man. I know you care for her.”

“It’s okay. You know, I played with fire. I got burned. I should have realized. I should have—” I stop. “Anyway, not to harp on the point any longer. It’s done, I suppose. She’s moved on with her life. I’m no one to her except her boss, and that’s the way it should be, right?”

“I suppose so.” He nods. “So, she and Jimmy, they are getting on better?”

“I think he’s going to take her to lunch this weekend,” I say. “He was asking me for recommendations, and I named a couple of fish places. Should be nice for both of them.”

“That’s cool that they’re bonding,” Brett says. “I never would’ve thought I’d see Jimmy as a dad.”

“Me neither, but then again I guess I never thought I’d see myself as a dad.”

We both watch Toby as he choo-choos up and down the floor and starts laughing.

“You got any updates on his mom?” I ask. “How’s Louisa doing?”

“It’s rough right now,” he says. “But it’s early in her stay. She’s still in rehab, so we can only pray and hope. I was able to find a house for her mom, and we’ve set up a small trust to help pay for the other kids.”

“Good.” I smile. “That’s some good news. Maybe I’ll let Toby meet his brothers and sisters at some point.”

“Yeah,” Brett says. “And do you think you’ll ever have some of your own as well?”

“I can’t even think about that, Brett. The love of my life isn’t even talking to me, let alone offering to have my children.”

“She’s the love of your life, huh?” He’s surprised by my declaration. “Never thought I’d hear you saying those words.”

“I never thought I’d say them myself, but here we are. I fucked up and⁠—”

“Daddy!” Toby looks up and runs over to me. “Daddy, I just hurt myself.”

“What happened, Toby?” I see he’s scratched his knee, and there’s a bit of blood.

“The train hurt me. It hurt me, and now I’m bleeding.”

“It’ll be okay. Let’s go and clean it up, and then we’ll get⁠—”

“I want Sage,” he says, cutting me off. “Where is she?”

Brett looks at me in surprise, and I shrug.

“She’s not here, hon, and you’ve got me, so maybe I can take care of it.”

“I want to go into the restaurant. I want to see Sage. She said she would get me ice cream at the beach, and I want her to babysit me again. Why haven’t I seen her, Daddy? Why doesn’t she stay with us anymore? I liked it when she was here, and she was making pancakes.”

“I know you liked it. I liked it as well, but this isn’t her home. She was only visiting, and now she’s not visiting any longer.”

“Does she love me?” His lower lip trembles. “Because I love her.”

“I’m sure she loves you,” Brett says. “How could she not?”

“Thank you, Uncle Brett. Can we clean up my boo-boo and then go and see Sage?”

“Yeah,” I say, not knowing what I’m thinking.

I should tell Toby no. There’s no way I can go to the restaurant, see her, and try and convince her to talk. She has nothing she wants to say to me. She’s not going to forgive me. She …

“Try,” Brett says. “Right? If you love her, then you’ve got to keep trying until you get through to her.”

“What if I never get through to her?”