Page 259 of The Bluffing Game

“I shouldn’t be telling you this, but you’re my daughter, and I love you.” Jimmy the Fish stares at me. “Does that sound weird for me to say that?”

“No, not if it’s true,” I say. “Is it true?”

“Of course it’s true. You’re my flesh and blood, and we’ve been through so much in the last weeks. At least you have. I never thought I’d have a daughter.” He looks down. “Ah, fuck it. Am I going to cry?”

“You don’t have to cry.”

I can’t believe this man is my dad. I can’t believe he and my mom had something. He’s so different from anyone I’ve ever met in my life, but perhaps that’s because I don’t know him well enough.

“Go ahead, Jimmy. Tell me what’s going on.”

“Dalton’s going to lose the business,” he says gruffly. “And I know you don’t want to hear about it. I know you’re still mad at him, and this isn’t me trying to get you to give him another chance. This is me trying to see if you can help him figure a way out because Mama’s Kitchen is important to so many of us—to Gracie, to me, to Lucia, to Izzy, to Rosie, to you, to Dalton. We need this. This is the lifeline that we need.”

“What do you want me to do? I don’t have any money. I can’t save it.”

“But you got any ideas to bring money in?”

“I mean, I could think of some things, but I’m not even talking to him. I can’t even stand him. He lied to me.”

“He lied to you because of me. The man’s hurting in more ways than one.”

“What’s that got to do with me?”

“He may look strong, and he may act strong, but usually, the ones who look the strongest are the ones who are barely holding it in inside. Trust me, I know.”

“What are you saying?”

“I don’t know.” He shrugs. “I’m sure Dalton wouldn’t even like me being here, telling you this, but I know he loves you, and I know you love him, and I just would hate to see y’all not communicating until it’s too late.”

“I thought we came out today to get to know each other better.”

“And we did, but I know he’s on your mind. I see the way that you look at him every single time he’s in that damn restaurant. And when he’s not, I see the way you frown and the way you look hopefully toward the door. I might not have known you for that long, but you’re my kin, and I can feel what you feel. And you love him, and you miss him, and you should forgive him. I know you don’t want to. I know you want to make him hurt the way you’ve been hurt, but it doesn’t pay in life. You don’t want to get to fifty years old and be thinking, I wish I’d just loosened up a little bit. It wasn’t that bad because he does love you. And that little boy, Toby, he loves you, too, and he needs you. He needs a mama. And from what I can see, you’d be a real good one.”

“I’m not ready to be a mom. I literally came here to find a rich husband so that I could live in a big house and …”

“But is that what you want, Sage? Is that why you really came here—for a big house, a big diamond, a Mercedes-Benz, and a BMW? Is that really why you and Rosie came here?”

“I came here to find you primarily, and I guess I came to feel safe and settled and to find a family,” I admit. I let out a deep breath. “Why do I love them so much? I don’t want to be weak and …”

“It’s not weak to love someone. I realize that now. I love you, Sage, and I don’t even remember a day that you weren’t in my life.”

“Do you really love me, Jimmy?”

“I love you so much that every night I pray that, one day, you’ll call me Dad. Stupid, ain’t it?”

“You want me to call you Dad?”

“You’re the closest person to me I’ve ever had in my life. I don’t even deserve you, and yet here you are, giving me a chance, like I am someone, like I did something good once in my life. You’re a part of me. When I see you smile, you remind me of the days when I was young, and my mama would hold me to her close.” His eyes tear up. “My mama loved me. I know I don’t deserve your love, but I guess you’re the one thing I did right. I mean, kinda did.”

“I guess you kind of did.”

“Your mom must hate me, huh, now that we’re bonding and getting to know each other?”

“Actually, she’s been surprisingly okay about it. She apologized for dropping a bomb and for my dad—my non-biological dad, I should say—not treating me the same as he did Rosie. She said she didn’t really realize it at first, and neither did he, but they can see it now, and they’re sorry. And that they love me and they’re glad that I met you and that I’m building a relationship with you.”

“So, you forgave them?”

“I did. I guess I’m realizing that we’re humans and we make mistakes and … fine, I’ll speak to Dalton.”