Page 105 of Ghosted

“Fine,” I say, reaching for the door. “Go let him turn you into exactly what he wants.”

Then I leave before my voice can break again.

The air outside is cold against my face, and I make it halfway down the stairs before my eyes start burning for real.

I don’t cry. I fucking refuse to give him that. I swallow it down, hard enough to hurt, and keep walking.

By the time I reach the street, I’m mad again.

Messy mad.

The kind that sits hot in my throat because I kissed him, begged him, and still walked out knowing exactly where he’ll be Friday night.

In the cage.

With Johnny.

Choosing blood over the one thing I asked for.

I keep walking with no real plan except away from him.

Away from his apartment.

Away from the smell of oil and the stupid warmth of his hands still sitting on my skin.

By the time I get home, the anger has gone quieter, which somehow makes it worse. Loud anger is useful. Loud anger gets me down the stairs and across campus and through my front door without crying.

This kind just sits there.

Heavy.

I lock the door behind me and stand in my apartment with my coat still on, staring at nothing.

Ernie and Bernie scrape around in their tank.

Everything looks exactly the same, and I hate that too, because I don’t feel the same. I feel stupid. Raw and hurt in a way I don’t want to admit because like an idiot, I kissed Jagger. I begged him, like it might change something, and he still chose the cage.

He chose Johnny.

Blood and the fight.

Whatever the fuck it is between them that keeps pulling everyone else into the blast radius.

The knock comes while I’m taking off my coat.

I freeze with one sleeve halfway down my arm, standing in the middle of my apartment like an idiot. For one second, I think it might be Jagger, which is pathetic enough to make my chest hurt all over again.

Then the knock comes again.

Slower this time. Lazy. Cocky.

My stomach drops.

I yank my coat the rest of the way off and toss it over the couch. “Go away.”

A pause.

Then Johnny’s voice comes through the door, amused as hell. “That was rude.”