Page 88 of Ghosted

“No.” My hand curls at my side. “I care about you.”

“That’s the same thing right now, Jagger.”

“It’s not.”

“Yes, it is.” She opens the door a little wider, still not enough to let me in. “Because you don’t just want to know if I’m okay. You want to know if Johnny hurt me badly enough that you get the green light to hurt him back.”

My jaw locks.

Alice sees it.

“Exactly.” Her voice drops, rougher now. “And that is exactly what he wants.”

“He touched you.”

“And you’re making it about him.”

“I’m making it about you.”

“No, you’re not.” Her eyes flick over the blood on my shirt, the split skin on my hands, the bruise already swelling near my jaw. “Look at you. You’re standing at my door covered in someone else’s blood, asking me for details so you can turn my answer into permission.”

I step forward before I can stop myself.

“Don’t,” she says.

One word, soft, but I hear it.

My hand drops from the doorframe. I didn’t even realize I’d grabbed it.

“He fucking touched you,” I say.

Alice’s mouth tightens. “And you think saying it like that makes this about me?”

“It is about you.”

“No, it’s not.” Her voice cracks, but she pulls it back fast. “It’s about you and Johnny. It’s always about you and Johnny. He did this to get to you, and now you’re standing here proving it worked.”

My jaw tightens. “He’s dead.”

“Exactly.” Her eyes flash. “That’s exactly what he wanted.”

“I don’t give a fuck what he wanted.”

“Yes, you do. You’re letting him drag you around by it.” She looks at the blood on my shirt, then back at me. “He wanted you angry. He wanted you messy. He wanted everyone in that warehouse to see you lose it over me.”

I say nothing.

Because she’s right, and I fucking hate it.

“He’s not scared of you hurting him, Jagger,” she says. “That’s the part you’re not getting. He likes knowing he can make you do it.”

My hand curls at my side. “Stop.”

“No. You need to hear it. Hitting Johnny won’t punish him. Pain isn’t a consequence to him. It’s attention.”

I hate that she’s right.

I hate it even more that she sounds like she understands him. That he even got close enough for her to understand anything.