Page 6 of The Fall I Fell

‘How are you getting on, Ava?’ Dave asks as he tucks into his place. ‘You know what you’re wanting to do after college yet?’

‘I’ve, er, been applying to universities to study fashion. I do – er, did – a course in it at college, back home.’ The thought of swapping colleges and starting all over again makes me feel sick. There is no fashion course offered at my new college, and I haven’t quite come to terms with the fact that I’m going to have to finish off the whole qualification by myself, with my tutor hundreds of miles away and only accessible by email. I shove a fork full of pasta into my mouth before I can think about it too much.

I never expected to start a new school at eighteen. I certainly didn’t expect to start a new school, in a new town, taking completely different subjects because my Mum and Dad don’t love each other any more.

‘Fashion, eh?’ Dave replies. ‘That’s out there. You kids these days go to university for anything. Back in my day, you left school at fifteen and went to work with your old man or his mate.’

I laugh along to be polite. It’s the same sort of spiel I’ve heard from plenty of other people’s dads that are still stuck in the 1980s, including my own. He works in business, the same as Mum. Both of them view the arts as a hobby, something fun to do after you’ve finished your ‘real work’. I still don’t think that they’re convinced I could make a career out of this, no matter how many PowerPoint presentations I’ve given them on my employment opportunities. It’s okay; they’ll see. I don’t need to waste any energy on people who aren’t actually that interested. I’m grateful when the topic shifts to Callum.

‘You still collecting your mini figures?’ Alfie asks. He loves to tease Callum about his nerdiness, but he’s always the first one to want to have a look at his new collection.

‘Yeah, but I had to leave a lot behind in London. Couldn’t fit it all in the car, but brought enough models to keep me busy, and I couldn’t part with my lightsabres.’

‘I think we’d need a whole moving van just for his replica swords. Thankfully his dad was more than happy to keep hold of them for a while,’ Mum adds, seemingly unbothered by the fact that Callum’s swords aren’t the only thing left behind.

‘I’ve got a new PC though. I’ll show you and Lizzie once I get it unpacked.’ He tricked Mum and Dad into buying him a top spec computer ‘for his school work’. They had no idea that he’d actually use it for his late-night video game battles that he’d keep us all up shouting at.

‘Where’s your Jacob tonight?’ Mum asks once her son has finished another tangent about famous historical battles and how he has found ways to re-enact them on his PC through some game.

‘He’s si—’ Alfie begins, but his dad beats him to it.

‘—out with his lady friend, Prue?’ Dave says with a mouthful.

‘Pen,’ Sian corrects him with any eyeroll. ‘You see her nearly every day, Dave.’

‘Aye that’s it. Never at home that boy, always out and about.’

Will looks at me with a grimace, and Alfie shakes his head with a sigh.

I can feel all the blood drain from my face, and I have to grasp for my water to cool myself. My hand trembles a little as I lift the glass to my lips. I don’t know why I’m so surprised. I follow enough of their mutual friends on Instagram to have seen plenty of them in the background of photos. Jacob and Pen have been a thing for a while. Even before I left here the last time, they had something going on, and Jacob isn’t the sort of person to do anything by half, so of course they’re still dating. I’ve met her a few times – she’s always been a friend of the family, to everyone really. She goes to college with him, they both listen to music I’ve never heard of, and she has an eyebrow piercing. Of course he’s still with her. He’d be a fool not to be.

I put a hand to my mouth to stifle a gag. I can’t seem to control it. My stomach doesn’t feel too happy either. It’s like when Mum and Dad first told me about the divorce – I could do nothing but dry heave for twenty minutes while sweating profusely.

‘You okay, Ava?’ Mum asks.

I nod, trying to swallow down my feelings.

‘You look awfully pale, duckie,’ Sian adds and now all of the eyes around the table rest on me.

‘I–I’m just a bit warm, I think,’ I reply, suppressing another gag. ‘I’m just going to get some air.’

Heading to the back door, I don’t bother to put my shoes on as I wander out into the garden and sit down in the earth beside Granny’s wilted roses. Jacob and I have never been anything, I remind myself. He owes me no loyalty after a stupid kiss, especially after disappearing on me right afterwards.

I just wish he’d have come over to say hi. He was once my best friend, after all.

Chapter 4

Ten years ago

Jacob and I seemed to pick each other out of the group almost immediately. Even back then, we clicked right away. It was as if we’d known each other in a past life and finally had the chance to catch up on lost time – we understood one another from the get go.

Mum always went back to London the day after dropping us off, and that’s when Granny and Grandad’s true spoiling began. We had a second breakfast of pastries and hot chocolate as soon as her car left the driveway, and we didn’t have to change out of our pyjamas if we didn’t want to. Usually, this was the start of a carefree summer. But that day, I was jittery in my seat, desperate to head back to the treehouse and see if Jacob had seen my note.

‘Do you think they got our note?’ Callum leaned across the table with his mouth smeared in chocolate spread.

‘Give them time,’ I said, though my knee bounced under the table, rattling the silverware. ‘It’s only nine. I bet they haven’t even got out of bed yet.’

Once breakfast was done for the second time, I couldn’t mask my anticipation. Thumping up the stairs to my room, I tore through my suitcase looking for some clothes I could wear to play in. Just as I dragged a t-shirt over my head, the sound of a horn startled me into banging my head against the bedframe. Leaping to my feet, I looked out of the window for the source of the noise, rubbing the pain out of the lump forming on my head.