Page 31 of Rubbing One Out

Chapter 12

Ben was right. The local funfair was nothing like those held at home, but Dae thought it was passable. The park grounds were filled with stalls and attractions spiked with flickering fairy lights and rambunctious flashing ones. On the Big Wheel to his right, people viewed the countryside from up high, and the strange bullet-shaped contraption currently spinning crazily to the accompaniment of people screaming and begging to get off accompanied the hustle and bustle of the customers packing the grounds.

Even the weather was cooperating.

Dae plunged his hand into his buttered popcorn and stuffed another load into his mouth. Beside him, Ben stood close, grinning at the delight Dae was taking in his salty treat.

“That’s your second box,” he murmured. “Where the hell are you putting it all?”

Dae chewed happily and sauntered over to another stall selling round, sticky red things on sticks. “These look tasty,” he remarked. “What are they?”

“Sticky toffee apples.” Ben gestured to the woman behind the stall to hand him one, then drew a few coins out of his pocket to pay her. “Here, try one.”

Dae eyed the treat greedily. “Here, hold this,” he commanded and gave his popcorn box to Ben. He sniffed the toffee apple, then took a huge bite out of it. His mouth was flooded with hardened sugar, spiced with the taste and texture of apples. He wasn’t a fan. The apple was okay but the toffee wasn’t his favourite. He grimaced and handed the confection back to Ben, taking his treasured popcorn back. “Here, you can have that. It’s a bit too sweet for me.”

He stared around the funfair. “So, where’s this Haunted House thing you like? Maybe we can take a ride on it.” In front of them, a child screamed in happiness as she was handed a rotund hippo in reward for apparently knocking a bunch of balls off a rack.

Ben took Dae’s hand and tugged him forward. “Come on, I’ll show you. It’s usually on the far side of the field, where the lights are lower. Sets the atmosphere, you know?”

Dae was pulled along through the throngs of people to the back of the park. The lights grew dimmer as they neared what looked like a large dwelling bearing the words “The Ghoulish Grotto.” As they got closer, Ben stopped, standing in the queue. He continued to hold Dae’s hand, and feeling Ben’s strong fingers laced with his warmed him.

“It shouldn’t be a long wait. It’s a pretty popular ride.” Ben grinned. “I promise you can hold on to me if you get scared. Don’t be embarrassed.” He winked.

Dae thought that if you’d camped in the Screaming Forest of Quimaria for a night, and encountered a terrifying, tentacled Badooberong, nothing could scare you, but he let Ben have his assumption a screaming Dae was going to cling to him. Nothing like a great excuse to get closer. Perhaps even to share a little sexy hanky-panky as they travelled the route.

Five minutes into the ride, Dae was yawning with boredom. He hadn’t seen one thing yet that gave him the faintest opportunity to cling onto Ben. Bedraggled papier-mâché puppets on obvious strings fell from the ceiling, and canned screams and gibbering ghostly noises echoed through the cavernous chamber.

Honestly, Dae thought dispiritedly, it was enough to put the evil villains of the world to shame. What in frinx name were these humans thinking charging a whole three pounds each for the privilege of being assaulted by badly made skeletons and smelly obnoxious gases? It was an insult. He needed to put this right, starting now.

Beside him, Ben laughed wildly as a tatty witch swung down from the ceiling and brushed his face with cobwebs.

Right, that’s it. That thing is damned pathetic. Ben deserves more than this. I’ll give you all your monies’worth.

Dae closed his eyes and summoned his magic. The prickling in his fingers built as he drew forth enchantments from his stifled reservoir. He may not be as powerful here, but son of a sea cook, he could still cast an epic spell. Mumbling to himself under his breath, he gathered his forces together then with a simple flick of his fingers, he shot it forth into the dark ahead. Pleased with himself, he sat back to enjoy the fun.

The first inkling he had something was wrong when the bloodcurdling screams from one of the cars in front began. Truly, those screams were the scariest thing Dae had experienced so far tonight.

Ben grabbed his hand tightly. “What the fuck is that? Are those real people screaming, or part of the ride?” His voice trailed off as a nightmare of a creature slunk around the bend in front of their car. Dae knew it was merely mist and would dissipate within minutes—to be replaced by another equally fearsome creature—but it was still a loathsome sight. Resembling a combination of black horned goat and salamander, it padded forwards on lizard appendages, tossing its horns, looking about to disembowel someone. Its scaly tail swiped from side to side as it made a noise similar to the sounds of Ben grinding coffee beans in the morning.

Ben let out a screech and Dae’s fingers almost cracked under the pressure of his hand in his. “Jesus fuck, what the hell is that thing? It is part of the show, right? Please tell me it’s part of the show.” His breath quickened and even in the darkness, Dae saw Ben’s eyes wide open in fear.

“Of course it’s part of the ride. What else would it be? I mean, those people seem to be enjoy—” His voice trailed off as the people in the front two carts bailed out, shouting and screaming, and attempted to bash the creature’s head in with what looked like a lady’s handbag and a steel flask. Of course, the items passed through the apparition and soon there were only trails of green and black smoke and tendrils of blue wafting through the air. There was a temporary hiatus as the onlookers stood about in stunned incomprehension, then the screaming started again as something else was spotted clambering across the ceiling.

“Perhaps the hellhound was a tad ambitious,” Dae muttered to himself as the animal snarled and launched itself at one of the patrons, a young man in a parka and jeans, who seemed rooted to the spot in fear. As the hellhound landed on his head, the man fell to the floor in a faint. Everyone else ran towards Dae and Ben, shoving past them in a paroxysm of terror. No doubt they thought they were headed for the entrance.

Dae wasn’t sure they were going the right way. He rather thought they might be heading into the bowels of the ride, where—ahem and alas—more visions awaited them.

Ben sprang out of the car and ran over to the fallen man. “Dae, give me a hand to get him back into the car. Hopefully, they’ll start moving again soon and we can get him out of here.”

They managed to get the unconscious man into the seat of his ride and clambered in beside him. Both behind and ahead of them, there were still sounds of terror and shrieks as people encountered more of Dae’s creations.

Horsefeathers. PerhapsI should retract the enchantments before they kill someone with a heart attack. Dae flexed his fingers and muttered the words to stop the carnage spreading through the funfair. The hellhound disappeared around the bend and Dae hoped it had gone for good. Sometimes these mischievous things had a mind of their own. He blinked his sudden fatigue away.

I have a headache. I need to lie down.

“Wait until I get out of here,” Ben said darkly. “The owner of this damned place is going to get a fucking mouthful. I’m all for a scary ghost ride, but this went too far.”

Dae squinted at him in confusion mixed with some apprehension. Ben sounded rather fierce. “I thought the whole idea of these things was to be scared?”