Page 45 of Fall Over You

“Sing Pussy’s song, Daddy,” Ellie demands.

Tyler clears his throat and shakes his head at me again. “I already sang it.”

“T-Bone needs to hear it,” Ellie insists.

“Shug—”

“Please, Daddy.”

A ragged sigh comes from his side of the room, and Tyler launches into a remixed version of “Octopus’s Garden” by The Beatles, but “octopus” becomes “Pussy-pus.”

I have to bite my tongue to keep from laughing, but it’s easier to hold back when I see how much Ellie loves it. In fact, it almost makes me want to cry. Tyler’s love for Ellie knows no bounds and it stirs up so much.

CJ’s missing all of this. Her daughter is an absolute doll, and her baby’s dad gives her the love every child deserves. She must have been hurting pretty bad to think walking away from this was the better option, and that breaks my heart. I would have been there for her. I wanted to be, but she didn’t give me the chance.

But I have a new chance now. I can be here for her daughter. I can put up with her dad’s grouchiness so she can thrive. I can be a good role model, even if I’m probably the least qualified person for the job.

I think about what Tyler said about not smoking in front of Ellie. I never smoke in my house anyway, just on the porch. But if Ellie will be living here long-term, I don’t even want to do that. The likely-stale pack of Nicorette I bought around New Year’s will have to do for a fresh start until I can get a new pack in town.

Tyler is still singing, coming to the end of the song. I’m surprised that he’s able to carry a tune, but then I remember all the times he hummed along with whatever I was listening to in my room.

I pet T-Bone’s side while Tyler sings and Ellie joins me. Her hand slows within a minute or so, coming to rest on top of my hand. I look over to find Tyler chewing on the inside of his lip. I meet his gaze and he presses his lips together, then stands to start messing with the long-range baby monitor. When he gets it where he wants it, he flicks his head toward the door.

I whisper a gentle “stay” to T-Bone before I get up. By the time I get into the hall, Tyler’s bedroom door is closing.

SEVENTEEN

TYLER

It’s everything I thought being a dad would be like. A dad with a partner, that is.

I dig through my duffel to find the full bottle of Tums I threw in there for good measure. I pop two and grind them up, waiting for the relief to kick in. I knew this whole experience would bring on my reflux. Darcy’s lasagna alone was enough to set off a rousing round of heartburn, but it was worth it. A family meal where CJ wasn’t mentioned once, probably because it wasn’t with my family. I should have asked more questions of Maggie and Darcy, but I was too busy being overwhelmed. They were probably only being nice because Becca told them to, and I can’t unpack what that might mean.

My heartburn took full effect looking at Ellie falling asleep while holding Becca’s hand.

We have to live in the same place if we want people to believe we’re in love. Becca and I can fudge it by flirting and joking around, but not my daughter.

Ellie is fully falling for Becca. And who could blame her? Becca is magical to her. All the reasons she called her a fairy princess might actually be true: animals love her, she has that certain cool-girl charm and who-gives-a-damn attitude, and she makes every person she comes into contact with feel special.

Unless they cross her, but that’s a different story.

I’m terrified of what comes next. If Ellie loves Becca, it’s on me to make sure she can stay in Becca’s life. It’s on me to make this work, because I can’t bear to think of taking anyone else from Ellie. I just want her to be okay, and I’m so scared that being okay hinges on this arrangement succeeding.

I think of all the emotions that have bubbled up in the last week, the greatest of which is dusting off that old feeling that I want Becca. I want her attention on me and only me if it’s romantic. With the way I’ve treated her in the last few years, I’m lucky she even talks to me. The only reason I even saw her again was because fate had enough of me avoidng her and shoved us back together.

And under all my hope is this dark cloud, the memory of what she said to CJ that sent her into a spiral. Can I forgive that? It’s hard to negotiate the person Becca is today with the things she did that made CJ leave. I want to be able to forgive it, but I’ve spent three years resenting Becca. Old habits die hard.

Ellie’s happiness depends on my forgiveness, or at least for me to try. The fear of failing her is crippling.

Soft porcelain clanks come from downstairs where Becca’s washing the dinner dishes. I should go help and at least acknowledge what she did for Ellie. I steel myself with a hand on the doorknob before turning it and heading to find her.

She looks over her shoulder from the sink with a quiet “hey.”

“Hey. Thank you for that. She’s totally out.”

Becca nods. “Glad to hear it.”

I lean a hip against the counter where she works, picking up a dish towel. “Need a hand?”