Page 37 of Black Ledger

The makeup lessons went less well, but after three days of preparation, we were ready to begin rush.

I had no expectations of getting into a sorority, but Nika and Abigail wanted to get into Kappa Xi. Katya was just along for the ride, like me.

Sorority houses were scattered around campus and were unofficial. Many girls, however, lived together in large brownstones near Hyde Park. Kappa Xi had a large house there, where they hosted us during rush.

Ivy climbed the brownstone walls as I walked up the path to the front door. I pinched my eyes shut for a second, bit my bottom lip, and repeated my chant in my head.

Smile. Be normal. Don’t scowl. Don’t be murderous. Just keep smiling.

Just keep smiling.

I let the mantra ring in my head as I reached the door, and a cute, petite blonde girl answered, “Welcome to Kappa Xi. I’m Rachelle.”

“Hi,” I said, my eyes darting around the entrance and then back to the girl, my smile faltering. “I’m Sienna.”

Rachelle reached out and shook my hand, her grip warm and inviting. “Nice to meet you, Sienna. I love that name. Where does it come from?”

My heart sank, and my smile dropped for a moment. Hell, if I knew where the name came from.

I sucked my bottom lip between my teeth. “I think it comes from Siena, Italy.”

“Oh, that’s so cool.”

“Yeah…” I trailed off, not knowing what to say. “I’m from New York City, though.”

“Oh, awesome.” She smiled, scrunching her nose playfully. “I’ve always wanted to visit New York. So what are you studying, Sienna?”

“Cybersecurity.” When she clearly didn’t understand, I added, “Computer science.”

Her brows lifted, surprise painting her face. “Oh, wow. That’s impressive. I could never.”

I gave a small shrug. “I like it.”

“You’re so pretty for that major.”

My forehead crinkled, but I forced out, in the most lighthearted tone I could muster, “Are computer science girls supposed to be ugly?”

“Oh, no, of course not. It’s just rare to see one.”

I nodded. “My orientation was a sausage fest.”

Rachelle snorted. “I bet. Any of them cute?”

My fingernails bit into my palm, but I kept my fake smile in place. The truth was, I hadn’t even noticed them. I didn’t often think of boys in that way. Yes, I was straight and attracted to them, but I’d spent so much time growing up with them that they had become nuisances.

I knew boys way too well.

I was one of them.

And the only boy to ever stir anything inside of me was Severin Volkov… Well, and one other.

But I couldn’t say that, and I had to say something, so I settled on, “A few of them were pretty attractive.”

“Awesome.”

After some boring small talk, Rachelle passed me on to another sorority member, and on and on it went. All the conversations were much the same, and I tried not to stand out too much. But I was starting to realize my answers were too short and too confident.

The situation fazed me, but I wasn’t afraid of them. I wasn’t intimidated. I was intimidating, which was the problem.