Page 70 of Heartless As Puck

My poor brother was in the public eye all the time. How would this affect him?

“Shut the fuck up,” Austin hissed. “You’re not helping.”

I sniffed and swiped at my cheeks. “I d-d-doubt anything would help. Ev-v… All t-the… Anyone could see this.”

I had been exposed to the world in one of my most vulnerable moments, and in doing so, I hadn’t only shamed myself.

Bile rose up the back of my throat, and I swallowed it, grimacing at the bitter taste.

How had I let this happen? I’d never been so careless before.

“We’ll fix this,” Austin crooned, stroking my back.

“I d-d-don’t kn-n-now h-how.”

A crushing weight pressed down on my chest. It was like I was a kid again, with everyone staring at me while I struggled to piece together a single sentence. Except this time, it was so much worse. Because the world was so much more interested in scandalous athletes than they were in stuttering little girls.

The public attention was going to be beyond my worst nightmares.

“I’ll make this okay.” Austin ducked his head and kissed my cheek. “I don’t know how, but I will, I promise.”

I didn’t see how.

My life as I knew it was over. How could I possibly go back to school and face my classmates knowing they might have seen me like that? How could I face Alec knowing how much my actions might have cost him? Or my parents?

I couldn’t handle it. I wasn’t strong enough.

“This is all my fault.” Austin sounded distraught. “It was my idea.”

“It doesn’t matter whose idea it was,” Gus said. “The damage is done.”

I drew in a shuddering breath, trying to remember the exercises that helped me get control of my stuttering. I opened my mouth, realized I wasn’t ready yet, and just breathed.

In and out.

Count, exhale, count, inhale. Hold it. And repeat.

Over and over, until my lips and tongue felt able to form at least some words.

“H-how many p-pl… Ugh!” Tears prickled the backs of my eyes. Why did I have to be so useless the second anyone put me under stress? “How many sites have l-l-listed the pic-c-ture? How m-many p-p-people have s-seen it?”

Austin stood and pulled me into his arms. I buried my face in his chest and tremors rolled through me as he murmured soft reassurances and held me tight.

“We don’t know yet.” Gus was clearly frustrated too. “We’ve sent takedown notices to a dozen websites, but there will be more. Austin, Stephen wants to meet with you.”

My insides tightened. Oh, God. For a moment, I’d almost forgotten that my family and I weren’t the only ones who would be affected by this. Austin had just been made captain. Now he might lose that.

“He can wait.” Austin kissed my temple. “I need to take care of Jane first.”

My heart stuttered. “You c-can’t-t…”

I bit my tongue, furious with it for betraying me again. I had to tell Austin that he couldn’t risk his career for me.

“I can do whatever I like,” he said, some of that old, familiar arrogance making its way into his voice.

Gus sighed. “You have an hour. That’s all the time I can buy before he loses patience.”

I felt sick. It wasn’t enough. He could give us a year, but it wouldn’t be enough time to fix this.