Page 28 of Smoke and Glitter

His hand slows. "That's not what I asked."

I open my eyes.

He's looking at me now.

"No. She's exhausted." I shift onto my side, still leaving my feet with him. "Everybody around her wants something. Nobody asks what she wants. They ask what she'll agree to."

Sam's thumb moves once beneath my ankle.

"Who asks you if you're okay?"

The question catches me hard enough that I almost laugh it away.

"Summer."

He waits.

"Jake."

"That's not what I mean."

Of course it isn't.

I look toward my closed laptop. "I have people."

"You have people who love you."

"They'd answer."

"That still isn't the same as calling them."

The quiet stretches until I finally give him the part he's asking for.

"I don't call."

Sam doesn't ask right away. His hand stays around my ankle, warm and loose, which makes it harder to pretend the answer doesn't matter.

"Why?"

I let my head fall back against the couch.

"Because somebody has to be fine."

"Why you?"

"I got good at it."

He doesn't say anything, so the rest comes out without much help from me.

"When something goes wrong, I know what to do. People figure that out. After a while they stop asking if you can carry something before they hand it to you."

Sam looks down at my foot, his thumb starting to move again.

"Very marketable skill," I say. "Got me a great apartment in New York."

"The one you're not living in."

I turn my head toward him. "You really don't let anything go."