Page 132 of Almost Ours

Like hunger finally getting fed.

As if every part of me that has been wound tight around Ruby for months suddenly being given permission to start breathing.

She pulls back the tiniest amount, her forehead brushing mine while both of us drag air into our lungs but it doesn’t last long, I kiss her again.

My hands move to tangle in her hair and I seem to lose all sense as our steady kisses turn frantic, desperate, Ruby rising onto her toes while I bend into her, both of us trying to get closer than our bodies will physically allow.

There’s something almost violent about how much I want to stay here now. An anger growing towards the clock, towards Ewan, towards the stupid fucking two weeks waiting outside this room, and I kiss her with all of it, every bit of frustration and fear and want I’ve spent months swallowing.

I break the kiss, pulling back to look at her. “Is this okay?” Her lips are swollen, hair has been destroyed by my hands, and she looks wrecked.

“Bit fucking late to ask that, Josh.”

I laugh, breathless, my forehead dropping against hers while my hands stay buried in her hair. “Yeah, fair point.”

“Was that planned?” she asks, hazel eyes burning and fingertips grazing the back of my neck. “Did you know you were going to do that?”

“Not when I left your halls.” I tilt my head, thinking about it while her fingers keep moving lightly through the hair at my neck and make it ridiculously difficult to form a coherent thought. “I knew I wanted to come back. I knew I wanted to see you. The rest sort of went to shit when I walked in and saw you standing there in my T-shirt.”

Ruby’s eyebrows lift. “So the T-shirt tipped you over the edge?”

“It was the girl in the T-shirt.”

She giggles. “You’re a bit of a smooth talker, aren’t you?”

“For you, Ruby.” I give her a chaste kiss. “Only for you.”

“Well, what does this mean, then?”

I groan. “Can you not just enjoy the kiss?”

“Josh,” She barks. “Do I seem like the type to just enjoy a kiss and not get really neurotic about it?”

“No, Rubes… but I don’t have a answer for you.”

“We are not still doing the friendship thing, surely?”

I pull a face because even I know I can’t get away with that one anymore. “No. I think we’ve probably fucked that up.”

“Probably?”

“Definitely.”

“Good.” She nods once, looking weirdly satisfied by my shit answers. “Because if you tried to call me your friend after that I’d really have to do the pee-through-the-letter-box thing.”

I laugh, but she keeps looking at me like she’s waiting for the rest and I know there is no chance she’s letting me out of this flat without wringing something more useful from me. “I’ve spent the last two months trying not to do exactly what I just did, so I’m a little behind on the planning.”

“I can’t go back to what we were.”

“I know. I can’t either.”

She searches my face, looking for the lie. “You mean that? You’re not going to come back after these two weeks and pretend it didn’t happen?”

“Well, about that…”

“Don’t do this to me.”

“No,” I laugh. “I’m joking, Christ. We’re going to drive my car back instead of leaving it here. I looked up the route from my house to yours and it’s only about thirty minutes.” I watch her expression change as she realises what I’m saying. “If you’re free, we could meet up over the break?”