Page 201 of Buy Back My Love

“Because I want a break.” I looked away from the screen, already knowing she wasn’t about to leave it there.

“Van there?”

“He lives here, Anika.”

Her whole face changed, and she slowly put the spoon back in the bowl. “Oh.”

“Don’t.”

“OH.”

I reached for the button to end the call.

“Go get your back blown-”

I hung up before she could finish. That was why I didn’t tell her shit.

Once Myles was safely at Anika’s house that evening, I came back home and started getting myself together. I considered cooking, then thought about standing over a stove, cleaning the kitchen afterward, and still having enough energy left for what I actually had planned. I decided absolutely not and let LongHorn handle the cooking.

I ordered enough for both of us, picked it up, brought it home, and put everything in the oven on low so it would stay warm. Then I showered, shaved, moisturized, and did all that extra shit I hadn’t bothered doing since before Myles was born.

I dug through the back of my drawer until I found a black lace set I hadn’t worn in forever. It was a little sheer in places it probably didn’t need to be, and for a second I just stood there looking at it like I had forgotten women still wore shit like this. The bra pushed my boobs up enough that I stood in front of the mirror admiring them until I remembered those same boobs could start leaking milk with absolutely no warning.

I put a thin black robe over everything and checked myself again. My stomach wasn’t anywhere close to flat, I still had stretch marks, my hips looked wider, and my boobs were bigger. There were parts of me that hadn’t gone back to what they were before pregnancy and maybe never would.

For a second, I almost changed clothes, but then I looked at myself again. Fuck it. I looked good. Different, but good.

A little after six, I heard the front door open.

“Snoop, move,” Van said from the front of the house.

The dog’s nails clicked across the floor before Van’s voice carried through the house.

“Lee?”

“In here.”

I sat on the edge of the bed, then immediately stood back up. Sitting there waiting looked too planned, even though this was extremely planned.

I walked into the bathroom, stood there for two seconds, then walked right back out. What the hell was I doing?

“Lee?”

“Bedroom!”

Heavy footsteps came down the hallway before Van appeared in the doorway still wearing his work clothes, keys in one hand. The first thing he did was look toward the empty bassinet.

“Where Myles?”

I was standing there in a robe at six o’clock with food in the oven, and the first thing out this man’s mouth was asking where the baby was.

“With Anika.”

His eyebrows lifted. “Why?”

“Because she wanted him.”

“You voluntarily let your sister take that baby overnight?”