Page 21 of Buy Back My Love

JB didn’t argue. He stayed near the doorway with his hands hanging at his sides. “I figured after all this time you would.”

The calm way he said it pissed me off even more. “I don’t need you. I don’t need this apartment, the money, that purse, that car. I don’t need none of it.”

JB stood there and let me get it out before he finally asked, “Then how you gone get back on your feet, Lee?”

My mouth opened, but nothing came out because I hated the answer even more than I hated him for asking. Whether I wanted to admit it or not, JB had made sure I didn’t have to worry about where I was sleeping tonight, what I was driving tomorrow, or how I was going to pay for anything while I figured my life out.

Without everything he’d given me, all I had was the little money left on my prison debit card, a plastic bag full of my shit, and nowhere I wanted to go. I hated needing him, but I hated even more that he knew I did.

JB watched me for a second before looking toward the bedroom door. “I’m about to dip.”

I frowned. “Dip where?”

“I got work.”

I stared at him. “You not staying here tonight?”

JB looked back at me. “You want me to stay?”

“That ain’t what I asked.”

“Lee, I got work.”

Something about that didn’t sit right with me. I watched him more closely. “I thought you left the streets.”

“I did.”

“Then what work?”

JB gave me a look like I should’ve known better than to assume the worst. “I own a trucking company now. Couple of my drivers got loads leaving before daylight, and I need to be at the yard.”

I blinked. “A trucking company?”

“Started with one truck. Kept buying more.”

I stared at him, trying to understand how something that big had never come up in five years of calls and letters. “Why you never told me that?”

JB leaned against the doorframe. “Because you know all them calls recorded, and they read all them letters before y’all get ’em. I ain’t want them folks all in my business trying to figure out how I got the money to start a company and shit.”

I stared at him. “You couldn’t just say you had a trucking company?”

“And have somebody start digging because they wondering where the money came from?” He shook his head. “Nah. I already had them people watching everything tied to me. I wasn’t giving them nothing else to look into.”

His reasoning made sense, but it still bothered me that I was just now finding out. Standing there looking at him, I realized I didn’t know a damn thing about the life he’d built while mine had been standing still.

JB pushed away from the doorframe and started toward the hall. “If you need anything…”

“I won’t.”

He looked at me like he already knew that was exactly what I was going to say. “Aight.”

Neither one of us moved for a few seconds. I didn’t want to ask him to stay, especially after finding out he’d been sleeping with other women, but I didn’t want him walking out either. Apparently, being home hadn’t made my feelings about him any less confusing.

JB finally nodded toward me. “Goodnight, Lee.”

I sat on the edge of the bed and looked away from him. “Goodnight.” He stayed in the doorway another second before his footsteps disappeared down the hall. I didn’t move until I heard the front door close.

Once he was gone, the apartment got so quiet I could hear the air kicking on. I walked through and cut off the lights before climbing into a bed that smelled like fresh laundry detergent. The mattress was softer than anything I’d slept on in years, and the room was dark except for a little light coming through the blinds. I should’ve been comfortable. Hell, I had a whole bed to myself, nobody doing count, nobody yelling down the hall, and no Patrice snoring loud enough to shake the bunk, but sleep still wouldn’t come.