Page 25 of Buy Back My Love

The more I thought about that last part, the more it bothered me. My gut kept telling me all those women weren’t old news either. JB wouldn’t tell me who the last one was or how long ago he’d been with her, then his ass got up and left me on my first night home.

Maybe I was reaching. Maybe I wasn’t. Either way, something about that shit felt off.

I sat up and pushed the covers off me. I refused to spend my first full day home laid up in bed worrying about what JB might or might not be doing. Since I was already wide awake, I figured I might as well get up and do something with myself.

When I walked into the bathroom, the oversized soaking tub caught my eye. I hadn’t had a real bath in five years, so I figured I might as well take advantage of some of this free people shit while I had it.

I opened cabinet after cabinet until I found where Anika had stashed everything. Bath salts, bubble bath, body scrubs, face masks, candles. The girl had bought enough stuff to stock a little spa.

I opened the lavender Dr. Teal’s bath salts and smelled them. “This shit smell so good.”

While the tub filled, I noticed an Echo Dot sitting on the vanity. I smiled because I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed little stuff like being able to tell a speaker what song I wanted instead of listening to whatever somebody else had playing.

“Alexa,” I said carefully. “Play some R&B.”

The blue light spun before music started coming through the speaker. Of all the songs she could’ve picked, Beyoncé’s Love Drought came on first.

I leaned back in the tub and closed my eyes, but I didn’t even make it through the first verse before I started regretting my choice. The whole damn song was about loving somebody through shit you probably shouldn’t, giving more than you were getting back, and still trying to figure out why you couldn’t just let them go. Basically me and JB with a beat behind it.

“Oh, hell no. Alexa, skip.”

I tried letting the next one play, then another, but apparently Alexa was determined to have me depressed before breakfast. After about ten minutes, I gave up and pulled the drain.

I turned on the shower and washed my hair. Anika had bought shampoo, conditioner, a deep-conditioning mask, damn near everything I could’ve needed, so I took my time with it. I shampooed twice, worked the conditioner through my hair, and stood under the water until I was sure I’d rinsed every bit of it out.

When I got out of the shower, I towel-dried my hair until it was damp, then worked some leave-in conditioner and oil through it before brushing it back into a slick ponytail.

By the time I finished my hair, I was starting to feel like myself again. After that, I dug through the welcome-home gifts everybody had brought me. Nina had gotten me a blush-pink Lululemon set, and Wren gave me a brand-new pair of New Balances. Both fit well enough that I decided somebody had clearly been asking Anika for my size before I came home. Once I was dressed, I grabbed my keys and stepped outside.

The air had that first little hint of fall in it. It wasn’t cold enough for a jacket or anything, but the breeze felt good against my skin as I started walking through the complex.

From a distance, all the little cottage apartments looked alike, but once I got closer, I could see how everybody had made theirs their own. One porch was covered in mums and hay bales. Another had pumpkins lined across the steps with fake spiderwebs hanging from the railing. Somebody across the street already had Halloween inflatables blown up in the yard, and a woman a few doors down watered bright pink flowers while country music played from her garage.

I smiled, thinking maybe I could do something like that with mine. My porch was looking sad as hell, and honestly the whole apartment wasn’t much better. Other than the bedroom set, the place was empty, which meant I needed a couch, a dining table, curtains, pictures, rugs. Lord, everything.

For the first time since I’d been home, I caught myself thinking about something that had nothing to do with JB or what I’d left behind. I started decorating the apartment in my head while I walked, picturing cream furniture, gold accents, and warm wood. I considered a sage-green wall for about two seconds before deciding I’d seen enough of that color in magazines over the years. Maybe wallpaper instead, or some built-in shelves if I could find somebody to do them right.

By the time I looked up, I’d wandered halfway down another row of cottages and was still mentally spending money when a front door swung open up ahead.

“Snoop!”

I looked up just in time to see a massive Doberman come flying out of the house and straight toward me. Every thought about curtains and couches disappeared as my whole body locked up. My brain was screaming at me to run, move, do something, but apparently my legs had other plans because I couldn’t move a damn inch.

Before I could get myself together, that big-ass dog reached me and jumped up, sending me straight onto the sidewalk. I barely had time to process being on the ground before a wet tongue dragged across my cheek.

“Oh my God!” I threw my hands up, trying to block my face while the dog licked whatever part of me he could reach. “Stop! Get him off me!”

That only seemed to excite his big ass more. His whole body was wagging while I was half laughing, half panicking and trying to keep his tongue out of my mouth.

“Snoop! Get off her!”

Heavy footsteps came across the yard, and a man grabbed the dog by the collar and pulled him back. “Sit.”

Snoop dropped onto his behind like he hadn’t just knocked a complete stranger flat on the sidewalk.

“I’m so sorry,” the man said, keeping one hand on his collar. “He ain’t never did no crazy shit like that before. You alright?”

I was still sitting on the ground trying to get myself together when he held a hand out to me. I looked up at him and had to take a second because of course the owner of the dog that just assaulted me had to be fine. Chocolate skin, low haircut, full beard, broad shoulders under a plain T-shirt, and a smile that made him look a little less intimidating than he probably would’ve otherwise.