Page 54 of Buy Back My Love

When the dentist came in and asked what brought us in, Lee went quiet. She looked down at her lap for a second before finally answering.

“I hate smiling.”

The dentist looked at her. “Why is that?”

Lee lifted her hand to her mouth. “I got into a fight while I was locked up. Somebody caught me across the face and chipped my front tooth near the bottom. It started turning gray after that.”

After some X-rays and a couple tests, the dentist explained that the hit had damaged the nerve in that front tooth, which was why it had turned gray. That one needed a root canal before they could finish the rest of her smile.

I knew about the tooth. I’d seen it, and I knew she kept covering her mouth when she laughed and barely showed her teeth in pictures anymore. But hearing her sit there and explain how it happened did something to me.

Prison had already taken enough from her. Now even smiling had turned into something she had to think about.

The dentist pulled up a digital picture showing what her teeth could look like when everything was finished, and Lee stared at the screen.

“I always wanted my whole smile done anyway,” she said. “Even before I went in.”

Her eyes filled up before she could blink the tears away, and when she covered her mouth with both hands and shook her head, I had to look away for a second. That shit got to me more than I wanted her to know.

The clinic had its own lab, so her permanent veneers would be ready in a few days. Until then, they put her in temporaries. Shit, they looked good enough to me, and soon as Lee saw herself in the mirror, she couldn’t stop smiling.

For the next few days, we stayed our ass in them Medellín streets. We rode that cable car thing over the city, hit some markets, ate everything we came across, and took more damn pictures than I had probably taken in my whole life. Lee had me trying coffee, pastries, and all kinds of shit I couldn’t pronounce because she wanted to try everything.

I ain’t give a damn what we did. I was just happy seeing my baby enjoy herself.

Every time we passed a window, she’d catch herself in the reflection and smile. Not that little closed-mouth shit she’d been doing since she came home either. She was showing all her damn teeth now, and watching her slowly get comfortable smiling again made the whole trip worth it to me.

It also made telling her the truth damn near impossible.

I tried three different times. Every damn time, I’d get as far as, “Lee, I gotta tell you something,” and then she’d smile at me or grab my hand talking about some shit she wanted to see, and I’d bitch up.

That’s really what it was. I kept telling myself I didn’t wanna ruin her trip, but the truth was I ain’t wanna see that smile disappear knowing I was the reason.

By the fourth night, I knew I couldn’t keep putting that shit off. I made us reservations at El Cielo, somewhere nice where we could sit down, eat, and actually talk. Halfway through dinner, I looked across the table at her and decided I was just gonna say it before I could talk myself out of it again.

“Lee.”

She looked up at me. “What?”

“Baby, there’s something I need-”

“I got something too.”

Before I could finish, she reached across the table and grabbed my hand.

“I just… I wanted to say thank you.”

I frowned. “For what?”

“Not for the trip. Not for my teeth. For everything.”

“What you thanking me for?”

“For still being here.”

Fuck.

She squeezed my hand before she continued. “People kept telling me I was stupid. My mama, Anika, everybody. They thought I was throwing my life away doing federal time for a man.” She looked right at me. “But I knew if I could just make it home to you, it’d all be worth it.”